Yesterday, would have been my mother’s 95 birthday. We lost her 6 years ago. We had a complicated relationship. And this made me think of some factors that can contribute to confusing mother-daughter relationships.
Mother-Daughter Relationships
Mother-daughter relationships can be complex and multifaceted, often filled with love, support, and shared experiences. However, it is not uncommon for such relationships to also face challenges and confusion at times.
Generation Gap
Mothers and daughters often belong to different generations, with varying values, beliefs, and expectations. This generational gap can lead to misunderstandings and confusion, as each may struggle to relate to the other’s perspective.
Communication Issues
Effective communication is crucial for any relationship, including the one between a mother and daughter. Differences in communication styles, lack of open dialogue, or difficulty expressing emotions can create confusion and misunderstandings.
Role Reversal
As daughters grow up and become adults, the dynamics of the relationship may shift. Sometimes, the daughter may feel the need to take on a more caregiving role for the mother, which can blur boundaries and lead to confusion about their respective roles.
Unresolved Childhood Issues
Past conflicts, unresolved issues, or unmet expectations from childhood can linger and affect the mother-daughter relationship. These unresolved issues can contribute to confusion, resentment, or a sense of emotional distance between them.
Different Personalities and Expectations
Each individual has their own unique personality, interests, and aspirations. When the mother and daughter have contrasting personalities or conflicting expectations, it can create confusion and tension in the relationship.
Life Transitions and Changes
Major life events, such as marriage, childbirth, career changes, or personal growth, can significantly impact the mother-daughter relationship. Adjusting to these transitions may lead to confusion as both individuals navigate new roles and responsibilities.
Navigating a confusing mother-daughter relationship requires understanding, empathy, and open communication. But that often takes two to see that there’s a problem at all.
Seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor who specializes in family dynamics can also provide valuable guidance and support to work through the challenges and foster a healthier relationship.
For me, writing has been the best way to heal my the hurts from my relationship with my mother. I would love to help you, dear reader, to find a way to heal through your writing. Do contact me and we can chat about this.
Written with empathy and understanding.
Thank you! We spoke of you only the other day. Hope you are doing well.
I agree with your points here, Corinne. A mother daughter relationship is one of the most complicated relationships in the world. But no one dares to admit that. In fact, all I read and hear is about the other side of it – the adorable, humble, calming effects of a mother and how the daughters look up to their mom’s.
I have reached a point where I am able to admit fearlessly that my relationship with my mother was/is rocky but I still love her and I can feel her love toward me despite our differences. I think accepting our parents in their human form is what we owe to them for birthing and raising us.
Accepting them us mere humans with flaws would help in accepting ourselves and our flaws as well.
Thank you for sharing your insights, Corinne.
Vinitha recently posted..My Wise Foggy Brain #FictionMonday
Thank you for sharing, Vini. I’m fed up of the stereotypes. We need to be real about our relationships with our mothers.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..An Impulse To Soar
Ugh.. my comment disappeared.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that you’ve put this down so well. Often it’s the changing dynamic due to age that is the cause of conflict. It’s taken me a while to get back from home without at least one big blow up with my mom. That said, she remains one of the most important people in my life.
Tulika recently posted..I, Me, Myself
I’m sorry about your comment disappearing, Tulika. My apologies.
Isn’t it such a crazy dynamic – we love them and we know they love us – but it sure doesn’t feel that way quite often!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..An Impulse To Soar
I’ve begun to appreciate my mother more now vs when I was young. I see that I’m like her in a lot of ways. But yes, she still can make me pull my hair apart . It’s complicated love. Isn’t it? Great to be here and read things a post of your Corinne.
Parul recently posted..#ThursdayTreeLove – 147
It is complicated, Parul. I’m glad for you that you share a good relationship with your Mom.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..An Impulse To Soar
Hi Corinne – I have a better relationship with my mum now she’s older than I did as a child and teenager. She was a young mum and I think she always wanted to compete – to show she hadn’t lost out to a younger version of herself. Age has mellowed her and I’m grateful that I’ve had this time with her.
My relationship with my own daughter has been completely different, but we struggled with the transition when she got married and her husband became her everything and I had a back seat (very back seat). That’s balanced out over the years and I think we’re in a really good place now.
Time is a great healer……you may have found that if your mum was still with you. x
Thanks for sharing, Leanne. Sadly, I had quite the opposite experience with my Mom though. Will always love and appreciate her, but it was difficult communicating.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Feelings Are The Music of The Heart
Mother-daughter relationships can be some of the trickiest ones. At the moment, I have a wonderful relationship with one daughter (thankfully!!!) and a non-existent one with the other daughter due to her choice to totally withdraw from all the family. I’ve been devastated by her decision to walk away. I hope that through time she will come back around. In the meantime, I’ve had to learn how to live without her and her kids; nothing has ever caused me more pain than this.
Hugs, Lisa. Having been the one to walk away from my immediate family after my parents passed, I know how much pain is involved. Now I just pray for and wish them well from afar.
I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you. I’ve been praying for your family ever since I read your comment. ♥
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..An Impulse To Soar