I’ve never bought myself a piece of jewelry. I’ve been lucky to receive jewelry as gifts, and I inherited some from my mother and my husband’s family. But a few years ago, I bought myself a diamond ring (or, at least, I attempted to buy one)
Why I Bought Myself A Diamond Ring
I’ve always prided myself on my relationships with family and friends, but we can often go through life fooling ourselves. In recent years, I’ve began to see how some of these relationships were quite skewed. One of these was with my mother. A relationship in which I was almost always the one to compromise.
From a young age, I appointed myself as her protector – or was possibly subtly made to play this role. I was called upon to fight her battles within the family, and I did so willingly. But I am also the one who got thrown under the bus when I disagreed with her!
It took a lot of inner work on my part (and a lot of gentle nudging from my husband) for me to admit that I’ve been manipulated a lot over the years. And even more work not to jump to her defense, or to react to her manipulation. I also had push back against her lack of respect for my time and privacy.
I had to learn how to distance myself in such a way that we could still have a relationship – but on equal terms.
When I managed to do this, I knew I had to reward myself. I just didn’t know what I wanted the reward to be.
Then a couple of months after my standing up to my mother, my husband and I went to a jewelry store to get some valuations done for tax purposes. While waiting for the work to get done, I started trying on various rings. Over the years, I’ve teased my husband that he owes me a ring since my engagement and wedding rings were family heirlooms that he didn’t buy.
So that day, I told him that he needed to get me a diamond ring. He took me to the diamond counter, and I fell in love with a simple design. I tried the ring on and it seemed like it was made for me. Anyone who knows me, knows that I don’t make extravagant purchases, but I decided that I was getting this for myself – a reward for coming so far with the relationship I had been struggling with.
Tentatively, I inquired about the price and was surprised that it wasn’t as much as I thought it would be.
I told my husband I was buying it for myself. He began to argue that I was taking away his chance to make good on his promise. I told him I was releasing him from the promise and was going to get it.
But the joke was on me. My card was declined because I had forgotten my code! My husband ended up buying me the ring after all.
Looking at that ring on my hand means that I had the courage and authenticity to finally stand up for myself. My husband tells me that if I continue to stand up for myself, he’s going to get me a pendant and a pair of earrings to match the ring!
So no, I don’t believe that diamonds are a girl’s best friend – a girl ought to be her own best friend – though it helps when she, like me, has a significant other who is also her best friend!
This is Day 15 of My 66-day Journey of Healing Through Writing and Sharing. I might be reposting some posts that I wrote a few years ago – mostly personal stories or those shared with me by others which talk about emotional pain and dealing with it.