With 15th August just past, it was natural for me to remember something tragic that happened around this time 12 years ago. Also, we’ve been getting so much news of ex-colleagues passing away suddenly, and with the pandemic it’s but natural to think of death. And to wonder what I’d do when death comes.
When Death Comes
2 Army Majors, soldier killed in helicopter crash – Newspaper Headlines – August 16, 2008
I clearly remember reading this headline. It may have been just another headline to me, if my parents hadn’t called to tell me that one of those young Army Majors, was the son of a couple we knew. I didn’t know him personally, but I knew and respected his parents. His parents are friendly with my parents. He was in the same batch as my cousin in the Indian Military Academy (IMA). His wife was another cousin’s classmate. His brother-in-law was my student. So many connections between my family and this young officer.

I couldn’t begin to imagine the grief of his wife and parents and all those who knew and loved him . And even those of us who didn’t know them directly, paused that day to ask ‘Why?’
There were a myriad ‘whys’ running around our minds – Why this tragedy? Why were they taken away so young? Why did they have to die while they were on a rescue mission? Why is life so unfair? And then maybe some, like me, asked, “Why them, and not me?” I got no answer to that question. The only response I got, was a series of questions:
- Are you living your life meaningfully?
- How are you making every day count?
- Are you getting lost in the small details, and forgetting the ‘big picture’?
- What kind of legacy are you going to leave?
- Do the people I love know that I love them?
Today, these questions are still relevant to me. I’m still trying to answer them meaningfully. I’m leaning on a beautiful poem by one of my favourites poets, Mary Oliver.

When Death Comes
When death comes like the hungry bear in autumn; when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse to buy me, and snaps the purse shut; when death comes like the measle-pox when death comes like an iceberg between the shoulder blades, I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering: what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness? And therefore I look upon everything as a brotherhood and a sisterhood, and I look upon time as no more than an idea, and I consider eternity as another possibility, and I think of each life as a flower, as common as a field daisy, and as singular, and each name a comfortable music in the mouth, tending, as all music does, toward silence, and each body a lion of courage, and something precious to the earth. When it's over, I want to say all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. When it's over, I don't want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real. I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. I don't want to end up simply having visited this world. --Mary Oliver
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I embraced life much differently after I survived my stage 4 cancer. It’s really true that the grass never looked greener or the skies bluer. Life was in technicolor and exploding with energy. I felt reborn. Sounds ridiculous that I often need to remind myself of this. It’s easy to slip back into “visiting” this world rather than living in it. – Great poem, especially that last line and welcome back! If I had seen this sooner I would’ve participated.
Loved this post, Corinne. Meaningful questions there. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem, and glad to see Monday Musings back!
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Death never is easy to assimilate- one is always left to wonder the why? On the other hand we are all mortals and this is the fate of each and every one of us. So I wonder why we are unable to accept it and process it logically.
I loved the poem Corinne. Good to see Monday Musings back- will try and join in from next time around.
Death is the only reality admist all the fog which surrounds us. It’s a pleasure to read you always. Will try to chip in next Monday.
Loved the poem! One of the things I do everyday, is to tell my loved ones how much I love them. Every single day.
Poignant and Profound. Loved the poem.
Yes, death is something that comes to my mind so often these days, and during moments when I am cribbing about the small things, I wonder if I am living right!
Loved the poem, Corinne!
You have written very thoughtfully of this tragic event, and not surprisingly raised good and thought provoking questions. Life giving questions. Thank you. Michele
Thank you for sharing this tragedy that made you turn your thinking around. Those are great questions we should ask ourselves. The poem is beautiful and thought provoking.
What a beautiful poem! Death always intrigued me as a child. It worries me sometimes now. There is something poetic about death but not wanting to go with death. As commitments are increasing day by day, I am hoping for more time on earth to take care of my kids than thinking about am I living right. Of course, that willl change a few years down the lane (if I am getting to live that long). Thought provoking post, Corinne.
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