Somedays you want to break all human contact. Someone lets you down. You see so much corruption. You experience toxic situations in which people want to control you and others. You want to run away from people. You want to hole yourself up at home and have no human contact. But we’re just not wired that way. We all need connection.
If we knew just how powerfully our thoughts, words, and actions affected the hearts of those around us, we’d reach out and join hands again and again. – Tara Brach
We all need connection
On Saturday, I lost a classmate to cancer. We hadn’t met each other for over 30 years, until she contacted me a few months ago. Although we were never really close, I decided to meet her. We spent a couple of hours catching up on each other’s lives and I realized that we had the potential to be good friends. Alas, her time on earth was short. Since we lived in different cities, we stayed connected on Whatsapp these last few months. I remember, after I met her in person, she said to her brother, “I have one more person for me.”
And that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? Another person who ‘sees’ us. Another person who ‘gets’ us. Another person who makes us feel like we matter.
It is said the northern Natal tribes in South Africa, greet one another every day, saying “Sawa Bona“, which means “I see you.” Their response is “Sikhona” which means “I am here.” In other words, they acknowledge the need for each other, saying ‘When you see me, I exist’; ‘When you see’ me, I become fully present’.
Read: Understanding Ubuntu
Sometimes we can be part of large families, be active in communities, be the life of the party and yet feel a lack of connection – feel like we are really not ‘seen’. I think it takes honesty and courage to acknowledge our need for genuine connection. It also takes time and effort to seek and nurture relationships that make us feel this sense of connection. But it’s worth it every single time!
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Is it me in the opening lines? I thought. We all need connection and I cannot agree any less with it. I want to live in my shell in the present times. Yet, thankfully I have my small village together with me in that shell and I am happy with this.
It could be any of us on a given day, Anamika. And so important that we find our ‘village’ and live in it, being completely ourselves!
In today’s world where everyone is so very busy genuine connections really matter. It really makes us feel that there is another person for us.
I’m quite a recluse in real life. Ever since I have become a writer, it has become an excuse to not go out or meet people. Some days it really gets on my nerves and I realize that I am being unfair to myself by shutting out the world. And I try to be a little more accessible.
So true. I can connect with people easily but not always happily. It’s only a few people who actually connect. Others are like extra noise!
Oh yes… am in a similar moment now, when I want to just cut of all human contact- virtual as well as physical. Its a phase, and I know soon I will pick myself up and want to meet and greet people( man is a social animal right?) And thats why we all need that ” other” person to see us, to hear us, just like how we see another, feel another 🙂
You said it corinne ……………. Life at time, gives you not much choices but options,yes! Time seems to stands still and i would like to be safe in my aboard too.
Other day, during Yoga session, one of my friend informed us about the successful completion of the 10 day Vipashyana course by her husband. I learnt that one is supposed to keep “maun vrat” all through out the tenure of the course. I was speechless at that!
I wondered how can one survive without making any connection, without striking any conversation when you are in company of humans around? It then dawned to me that I am not cut for such things. On second thought however, I felt that may be we are so busy connecting with others, we have forgotten the connect with self. And to establish that connect one needs to talk to self by cutting all conversation outside.
Time is yet not ripe for me to establish this inner connection, so I am enjoying the bliss of making connect with all those who “see” me !
Over the weekend I heard of the passing of 2 people, 2 people I knew of, and now I regret that I didn’t know well enough. That I hadn’t made the effort to connect and spend even a little more time with them.
A connect is so important, so many people are hanging on in life, thanks to that one connection. I hope more people would reach out to each other and connect, and stay connected!
Seeking is about the vibes and energy, I feel in this world and sometimes, we find a strange connection with a stranger. Sometimes, we just ignore but the other we overcome hesitation to hit it off. Life can be unfair when someone departs soon. There are relationships beyond the material and attachment.