This Monday’s Musings are based on the Ram Das quote –
‘We’re all just walking each other home.’
I was coming home in an autorickshaw (tuk-tuk for those of you who may not know) over a week back when I spotted him at the crossroad. I waved out to him and said ‘Hello’ but he had a blank expression. He caught up with my rickshaw and said, “I’m sorry, I don’t know you.” I don’t blame him, I’ve put on a lot of weight since I last met him. We had a quick chat at the crossroads and the first thing he told me about himself was, “I’m not married. Still single.”
With anyone else, that might have been a funny start to the conversation. But with him, I know what it meant. Having lost his parents in a tragic accident when he was young, he was brought up by his grandparents. I didn’t have the heart to ask him about them, but he alluded they had passed away. So when he said he was ‘single’ it meant more than being not married. It meant he really had no one!
This was a boy, who as a student, if you had the last class of the day, would need 5 minutes before the bell rang to go to the washroom. And he’d be back just in time for the bell with a freshly washed and powdered face. Why, you ask? Because he was desperately trying to woo a girl – not one – but any girl. After he passed out of college, he would come to visit me in college and tell me sad stories of girls taking advantage of him and fleecing him of his money. Was there something wrong with him? Nothing, apart from a slight stammer, which could be overlooked.
His behaviour? Born out of a desperation to connect with someone at a deep level.
But don’t we all need to connect to at least one person on a deep level to be understood and accepted? Yes, I know that I talk about the need to first love one self. That is vital. But so is being in a relationship where you are accepted exactly the way you are. This needn’t be a marriage or a partnership – it could be a relationship between friends, siblings, etc.
I pray this person finds someone, or many ‘someones’ to let him know that he is not alone.
Walking Each Other Home
On Saturday, out of the blue (or so it seemed), I thought of someone I hadn’t interacted with in about 4 months and hadn’t seen for almost 10 years. It was about 10.30 am when I told Jose about my thoughts and wondered why this friend couldn’t move back to this city.
The next day, I made it a point to chat with her only to find out that her Dad had passed away the morning before – close to when I thought of her. I won’t get into details, but basically she was broken not just about his passing but at the way she was treated by her extended family.
We got chatting and we realized that we both had been going to through a similar situation. Instead of me reaching out to her, she reached out to me in the chat with a sage piece of advice.
Connection? Yes. Walking each other home? Most definitely.
I know my post might come off as being confusing, but I’m attempting to convey – that we are made to be community.
Even those people who don’t like us or treat us badly are in their own convoluted way walking us ‘home’ – towards our most authentic selves.
I know that loneliness, love and relationships are topics I’m going to be exploring more deeply in the coming months….Stay tuned.
I’d love to know if this post makes any sense to you. Let me know!
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