I’ve written about Try Softer before. The book, written by Aundi Kolber, a Christian clinical counselor, serves as a valuable resource for those of us on a journey of emotional healing. The book offers a blend of clinical insights and spiritual guidance.
The narrative begins with a clinical perspective and seamlessly transitions into the integration of faith into therapeutic practices.
The “Try Softer” idea is about being kind to yourself and still recognizing the hard things that happened to you. The first part of the book talks about why we act the way we do. The second part gives practical tips to “try softer,” like doing mindfulness and breath exercises, and dealing with past tough experiences.
I found this so useful that I’ve also bought and am working through The Try Softer Guided Journey: A Soulful Companion to Healing.
Some quotes from Try Softer
Here are some quotes from the book that really struck me:
“When people begin to understand that change happens in layers – and is rarely linear – it’s as if someone took a grueling weight off them. They stand a bit straighter. Often they become a touch kinder to themselves and others. It’s as if someone put a balm on their souls and gave them this message: “It takes as long as it takes. It’s okay to be unfinished. It’s absolutely normal to be imperfect. It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.”
“Learning to try softer won’t automatically erase the pain of shame, anxiety, or trauma. It won’t make people love you differently. It will not take away the wounds already inflicted. It won’t give you a different childhood. But it just might change how you go through pain. And by now you know that the way in which you move through hardship matters greatly. It can predict whether something becomes integrated into your experience and loses its intensity or builds in power to the point that you feel it might overwhelm”
“Dear reader, there are truly times when the best, healthiest, most productive thing we can do is not to try harder, but rather to try softer: to compassionately listen to our needs so we can move through pain—and ultimately life—with more gentleness and resilience.”
The author emphasizes the importance of paying compassionate attention, framing it as a means of self-stewardship aligned with God’s inherent belief in our value and love.
You can take a look at the book on Amazon (affiliate link)
This is Day 24 of My 66-day Journey of Healing Through Writing and Sharing.