Whether you are 25 or in your late 40s, if you are single you are bound to hear a lot of “cheer up” phrases. (Or if you are in India, you’ll get unsolicited advice, like I did!) While it’s true that most of them mean no harm and are there to give you are a morale boost, they often do the exact opposite. This is precisely what I am talking today. Here’s a list of things single people wish you’d stop saying, even when they know you mean well.
Things Single People Wish You’d Stop Saying
1. I Wish I Was Single
The first one on our list is perhaps the most common one too. Nobody likes this phrase as it implies that you are super lucky. However, the reality is that no, you’re not. If you wished you were single, you’d probably be already. Besides, humans are by nature social animals and we can’t live alone for prolonged periods of time. This is just how we are hardwired and it will never change, so just stop.
2. You’ll Find Your Love Sooner Than Later
This is a rich one. What does it even mean? Will I find love when I’m 60 or tomorrow morning? We understand that the key message is that it won’t be like that forever and that you will definitely find someone. It’s just that it also gives false hope that as long as you wait, you will find success. What you should do instead is go out and start doing things that will attract other people. Start building up your career, make dreams a reality, etc. Nothing good comes to those who just sit around and wait. Waiting will only get you so far.
3. So, Are You Dating Anyone Right Now?
This is one of those phrases that can totally destroy your will to do anything. If it comes from people who are not aware of your social status, then it’s tolerable. But when you hear it from someone who knows that you are single and keeps asking the same question, we wish we could go deaf. It’s not like they really care, they just ask it for the sake of asking. If I was dating someone after being alone for what seemed like an eternity, would I have time to talk about it? Of course not. I would be doing what couples do.
4. I Think I Can Set You Up with My Cousin, Brother, Friend, Colleague.
No matter how old you are, chances are you’ve heard this phrase once in your lifetime. This is one of those sayings that should stop as it has little to no value and very often, it can lead to poor outcomes. What I mean is that I don’t want to be “set up” with some stranger I have no idea about, not to mention date them. And don’t you dare saying that he is “one of the best guys out there”. Because if he really was that good, why is he single too? Guys, just stop!
5. You’ll Find Love When You Stop Looking
Ok, let me ask a counter question, how many of you got married when you stopped looking? That’s right, none. Sitting at home and just waiting will only bring you age and wrinkles. While it does happen, the chances are quite slim when you encapsulate yourself in your own little bubble.
6. Oh, You Must Have a Lot of Free Time
Do I? I think not. While it’s true that relationships can eat up some of that “free” time, it doesn’t mean that I have an extra 10 hours in a day to do things I like. Single people usually excel in their careers and do a lot of business traveling. Moreover, some of them find it hard to trade their careers for a relationship and try to combine both because if they don’t work, they feel empty. In fact, psychologists say single people are more fulfilled. So, single people are just as busy as any couple because they allocate their time to other important things.
7. Have you tried dating sites?
This one actually isn’t that bad as the others. In fact, it can be very helpful as many people met their soulmates online. Dating websites are also great when you have to get over the ex as there is a lot of single people out there just waiting to be invited.
Some singles are quite particular to find people with similar cultural and educational backgrounds and shared values. It’s seems easier to form a connection with someone that truly understands where you are coming from, which is why niche apps like Iranian dating apps may help you find ‘the one’ far sooner. While you shouldn’t rule out finding love elsewhere, there’s nothing wrong with focusing on an environment where the probability of success is at its highest.
Bottom line
And there’s that. There are many more comments I didn’t list but those that I mentioned here are the most infuriating. If you have nothing better to say, it’s best that you remain silent. Remember that there are things single people wish you’d stop saying – so think twice before you say them as you can hurt someone.
Image by Jess Foami from Pixabay
Priceless Corinne. We Indians love giving advice solicited or otherwise and NEVER bother to think of whether we are intrusive, hurtful or down right rude. People imagine they have the right to give their two penny bits on any topic under the sun. I wonder if they are equally accepting of the advice given to them. IO’m sure they don’t accept with grace.