“Your mother is evil,” he told her. She listened quietly, not arguing. For the first time in her life, she gave herself permission to agree with this.
His words resonated with her and she sought to process them as she wrote in her journal the next morning. The words flowed – as she wrote of that little girl who had to grow up faster than necessary. The memories came rushing back, the pain, the feeling of being used, and the knowledge that she had been a pawn in her mother’s games. And with the words, came the tears, unshed for many years. Racking sobs – crying for that young girl, that young woman, that older woman – each a part of her and every one of them needed healing.
She was grateful for the man who stood by her through this process – challenging and cheering her on as she redefined the dynamics of her relationship with her mother.
If he had said those words to her a year ago, she would have fought against them and accused him of being mean. Today, thanks to the journey she had started some months back, she was ready to face the truth.
The Truth Shall Set You Free
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. ~ Aldous Huxley
Whatever happens to us is stored in our minds and even our bodies. We try hard to suppress the painful memories. We don’t want to face up to our own vulnerabilities and the fact that we have been hurt. This is even more true when the person who has hurt us is someone we love very much – a parent, a partner or a sibling.
We pretend we have not been hurt at all. For to acknowledge our pain, is to paint our loved one as a ‘villain’. This is where misplaced loyalties and wrong notions of what love is come into play. We take on the role of martyrs for the cause of family loyalty and love.
And so we continue to suffer. Our hurts continue to affect our lives and other relationships.
It is only when we are ready to face the truth that health and healing can begin.
If we our blessed as the woman in my little piece at the start was, then we’ll have people in our lives who will challenge us to the truth – challenge us to heal. But it’s up to us to want this healing. The process is not easy. But if we want to be authentic, it is the only way.
We can choose counseling, group therapy, spiritual exercises or journaling as ways to begin the healing process. The good news is that it’s never too late to be healed. Even if we’ve been suppressing our pain for a lifetime, if we are willing to release these secret hurts, we can be healed. And the truth that we tried to suppress will itself be our healing!
The truth shall indeed set us free!
The more light you allow within you, the brighter the world you live in will be. – Shakti Gawain
There is so much truth to be found here. Truth does set you free. Acceptance, forgiveness, and letting go does as well.
Kathy Combs ( recently posted..The Shipment
You’re right. Once we’re willing to face the truth, the other steps must follow.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..The Windmills Of Your Mind
I’ve learned this first hand. No, the process isn’t easy, but the healing which comes is priceless.
Blessings, Corinne!
Martha Orlando recently posted..Band of Brothers (and One Sister)
Never easy, Martha. But Truth truly is life-giving, is it not?
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..The Windmills Of Your Mind
I love this post. Even though it can be frightening to face our pain, it’s the way out of shame and guilt, among other crippling emotions. Thanks for your wise words.
Thank you, Dorothy. Yes, we need to be free, don’t we?
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Stay Creative
Thanks for this post.. Once again… I don’t know how you come up with such posts exactly at the moments when I want to wish for them.. Some divine connections indeed.. or say blessed?? 🙂
Archana recently posted..Innocence
Your short story struck a chord and what you wrote afterwards is so true! One has to let go. Writing can be so cathartic in those situations.
Debbie recently posted..BITCHES, BABES AND BROADS
I love that story you have shared here Corinne. I can relate to the setting so much! (Not with respect to my mom of course 😛 She is a darling! )
Truth does set us free, but then the timing too is important and a strong support throughout the healing process helps so much. 🙂
Bhavya recently posted..The Agony Aunt’s Agony
Thought provoking, Corinne. Guess, we should never so No to love in life and its something that affects so many of us. Yeah! It hurts a lot and one takes time to get out of it but don’t we deserve another chance.
Loved that bit of gyan you dispensed at the end of your post. Loyalty is such a wonderful thing yet when it’s misplaced it can go all wrong and we need plenty of support to come to terms with that.
I canot even imagine how devastating it must be to feel this way. Powerful and a very different write.
Rajlakshmi recently posted..WTF Wednesdays – Of Hooters & Bridenapping
This is why it took my 10 years to write my memoir. Opening old wounds, exposing skeletons, remembering hurts — not easy to do but therapeutic. Thanks for sharing this Corinne. You definitely got a grip on the reality.
Carol Graham recently posted..How Do You Ask Your Fiance if He was Unfaithful the Night Before the Wedding?
I know just what you mean, Carol. Thank you!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..The Windmills Of Your Mind
Carinne this a very thought provoking post. I know how desperate we feel when a loved one hurts the heart. The grief seems to be life long, but as you have quoted the more light we allow within, the brighter the world will be.
usha menon recently posted..Fly
… and sharing it reduces the burden. Never too late to be reminded of this universal truth. Thank you Corinne.
Claire ‘Word by Word’ recently posted..Prayers for the Stolen
Ive been on both ends of this theme – having to face it and having to help others face reality. It is a long arduous process either way – lots of relapses back towards comfort zones and away from darker realities.
But it is necessary…
Roshan R recently posted..Specs or no specs: Your opinion
I think acceptance is something that most of us tend to ignore. If we accepted the facts and made peace with it, life would be a lot more easier to live and the heart breaks will be lesser. Yes, there is bound to be a day when the memories will come rushing back causing that searing pain in the heart, but when you accept the truth, the pain would be lesser 🙂
Pratibha recently posted..Pain Relief Lotion Bars {DIY, Stay Healthy}
Thats indeed a painful truth to make peace with! But unless the peace is mad eiwth life will be a restless ride…
Meena Menon recently posted..Chinnu….
Acceptance of the truth is the first step towards healing. Unfortunately, many people do not accept the truth even when it stares them in the face, especially when a loved one has let them down.
Proactive Indian recently posted..Magic!
I believe the ***Truth Will Set Us Free.***
It may hurt like hell. It may piss you off.
….but it will definitely set you free.
My Inner Chick recently posted..You Rise Over & Over Again
Hi, the best thing a person can do is to be real and always tell the truth. It may really hurt for a while but it will definitely set us free. Thanks for sharing. Great Read !
Absolutely, Sherill. Once you start down that path, it’s easier to tell the truth too. Thanks for stopping by.
sometimes we need to be in the right place in our lives for truth to set us free – otherwise we fight against it or deny it and refuse to act on good advice. I think the core of it was that she had done the work leading up to that point to prepare her heart and mind to accept the truth and to move forward in her life.
Beautiful. It’s often taboo to speak the truth, because it’s not comfortable or common. Speak it anyway. Trust that what you know to be true is.
Faye recently posted..And The Clock Keeps Ticking
I think also there is some sort of embarrassment at having a family situation like that. As if everyone else were normal and we were the only ones selected for pain. Thoughtful piece.
Oh Oh Oh Oh so lovely. sad. True. Inspiring. Thank you for this!
Anna R Palmer recently posted..A subtraction to celebrate- the math of divorce.
Very thought provoking – sad but inspiring too – and so so true!
Linda Hobden recently posted..Between The Lines
There is value in seeing your words that the truth will set you free. I am working toward allowing the truth to set me free as I write and journal daily. Thanks
Wendy Bottrell recently posted..Simply Fit At Home
Wise words and so much truth to it, but sometimes hard to accept and acknowledge the truth in order to move on.
Silly Mummy recently posted..My Name Is Silly Mummy, and I Am a Rubbish Birth Planner
Such wisdom here. Acceptance has been the first step towards growth in my own life. It’s often the most difficult step because I know that I must follow up with an action. If that “action” is forgiveness, my ego often protests. Thanks for your lovely post. I am really enjoying your blog.
Great post. I love the Aldous Huxley quote. Especially appropriate today in the political arena.
Love that quote by Gawain. Yes, facing the truth, which can be like facing our fears, is vital to happiness . It allows more joy to seep in.
Laurie Stone recently posted..5 Ways Cats Make Life Better… and Why I Can’t Have One Anymore
I love the last quote about letting more light within us and believe it not only brightens the world but also ourselves.
Each time I read the quote, the truth shall set you free, I hear another quote from the show Ted Lasso, but first, it will piss you off.
Jennifer recently posted..What Is The Purpose of a Vision Board?