The Practice Of Being Real
“Forget about being impressive and commit to being real. Because being real is impressive!”
― Jonathan Harnisch
I’m attempting to be real.
Being real takes practice.
It also takes a lot of inner courage.
But most of all it takes awareness.
How do I know what drives my response to a particular situation?
Just speaking the ‘truth’ as I see it – may not really be the ‘truth’ at all.
But does that mean I need to be quiet and not speak my mind?
I have to walk the fine line between hurting people and speaking my truth.
It’s hard not to want to be popular
But I’ve been there and done that
And it’s way too much work.
I’ve had my share of sitting at the cool kids’ table
And the shine has worn off.
I’ll sit with the real folks
Thank you very much.
Either you take me for who I am
Or you don’t
I’m not going to make the effort to change to suit you.
Like the Skin Horse, I’ll accept
That I’m ugly to those who don’t understand me.
I’m not trying to be impressive anymore
Being Real is pretty impressive too.
“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’
‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.
‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. ‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’
‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit by bit?’
‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit
Do you think being real is worth the effort?
Linking in to Write Tribe’s #MondayMusings today. Why don’t you do so as well?
Being real with close family members is easy, but difficult with others.
I’m not sure even that is always true, Mahathi.
Being real is the only way I know how to be! Thumbs up for this post, Corinne 🙂 If people like you or what you’re doing – great! If they don’t, it’s their loss.
Absolutely, Debbie. I’m a little fed up of trying to please everyone else! 🙂
Love, love this post and the quotes. The older I get, the more I want to be real. Your thoughts are right on in regard to the wisdom needed as to when and what to speak and to whom. Thank you!
I spend too much time turning away from real life. :/
Great inspiration, Corinne! Thank you for reminding me to do a reality check today. 🙂 Blessings!
Being real is easy I feel..Easy for our own sanity…Trying to be someone else is always hard work and not at all worth the effort..And people who love you for the real you , makes being real even worth it
such a simple and difficult task – be real! loved the dialogue!
Always love your blogs, Corinne, and this one is no exception. I used to read out this extract when I taught Counselling Skills and the first time I cried as I was so touched by it – thank you for this sharing again.
And for me, I can’t be anything else except real nowadays.
I hold strong opinions on some matters. I debate whether my blog is the place for it. Am I truly real? Perhaps we all, in some ways, self censor ourselves on our blogs. I think that is OK. But if we self censor ourselves in life, we lose who we are. When I look back on my 62 years, I think I have in some ways, lost myself.
Powerful. I used part of this quote in one of my assignments when I was a student counsellor, talking about my journey to ‘feel’ real in my practice.
Yeah being real is tricky, I so got that when I started recording videos. It must much easier to act on a stage or teach a subject – but appear as me eeek? thank you Corinne beautifully written 🙂
I think we could all use a little more of being real. I know I could at times. I’m taking a little break to get things together, but I’ll be back next week!
I love the analogies to be real to those who really love you from The Velveteen Rabbit (which I have never read). I’d love to be real. I think in my case I would be one step close to healing in so many ways. Unfortunately, I’m not even real with the people in my family, so this might take awhile. I do love reading posts like this one though, because it really is motivation and a reminder that it can and needs to be done in order to live an authentic and more fulfilling life.
Beautiful. Your post reads like poetry. I think your message is something all bloggers should remember – being real above all else. It’s a nice reminder for me today. Thanks!
I love how this post read almost like a poem. It made the question you are asking all the more poignant. I think that the more we grow, the more real we become. ‘Real’ is born from experience, from trying things, from learning about ourselves. It’s a result of getting to know ourselves as people. You are right- it takes practice.
I love being real… because it freaks others out 😛
enjoyed reading the post 😀
Ahhhhh, I love this. So happy to hear the acceptance you have of yourself. FABULOUS Lady. Your post touches on what I believe each person should have for themselves. You rock doll. 🙂
Oh my goodness YES! Being real is sometimes painful to begin with but then a kind of peace settles in and then any kind of fakery becomes harder to give out or to accept from others. If I can’t be real because it might hurt someone who is fragile or because the person is so ‘unreal’ themselves they wouldn’t get it, I don’t say anything at all. I stay quiet and look beyond the front they put on to the purity underneath. I silently wish them well and move on. We all come from the same place and we all go back there, whatever stuff we act out in between is not going to change that. I am still learning how to be real and I try to accept that it is the same for others.