I look out at the sea and wonder at the vastness of the ocean. The sea always makes me long to travel to distant lands. Someday, I’ll do that. Someday, I’ll travel far away from my present life. I’ll become the master of my own fate and who knows, perhaps the captain of my own ship! I can’t share these dreams with her, of course. The very sight of the sea makes her sad. I know she reluctantly brings me on our annual holiday to the seaside. I suppose there are too many memories of him here. What she cannot understand is that, it’s these memories that make me long to come here. The sight and smell of the sea reminds me so much for him. I miss him too. But life must go on. I must follow my dream. Someday, I’ll sail the seas.
I’m dreading the day he tells me that he wants to sail the seas. I can see the longing in his eyes. Every year, I try to put him off coming here, but he insists. How do I make him understand how difficult it is for me? This place, the sea, the smells, all remind me of him. Sometimes, I feel that the sea is the enemy. She was his mistress and he spent more time with her than he did with me. Finally, the mistress won. Every time I look at the sea, I recall the day the news came. She did not even allow me the chance for the closure of a funeral. She took him away and left no trace. Now the only reminder of him is our boy. I hope she doesn’t claim him too.
The Boy and The Sea is my experiment with telling a story from two different points of view. Would love your feedback.
Daphne Romero of My Distant Husband is the host for BlogFEST 2012. Her prompt is the picture above. Read her post here.
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There is a certain lingering sadness that tugs your heart. Wonderful story.
Thanks, Janaki. Just tried out another writing technique.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..The Boy And The Sea
Beautifully written….a touching tale with a tinge of sadness !
Privy Trifles recently posted..Silent Whispers (Flash Fiction)
Thanks, Privy. The picture struck me as being sad.
Very well written — I can feel the emotion in the writer for the lost of the love.
Journey of Life recently posted..Journey to the Philae Temple
Thanks, A. The picture seemed to demand an emotional response.
You did an amazing job telling both points of view. Bravo Corinne!!
Kathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
Kathy recently posted..Saying Goodbye
Remember the recent POV prompt on GBE2, Kathy? I missed it and was eager to try out the method. Glad you liked it.
Corinne, this is beautifully written, you have managed to bring out the real feeling from both the sides.
Thanks, Rama. The picture prompt was really inspiring!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..To Autumn
Great story Corinne – and so emotional reading two POV to the same thing, the same event, the same picture.
Well done!
Stuart
Thanks, Stuart. I had recently come across this POV technique and was itching to try it out.
Well written, Corinne! I enjoyed this short tale from the mother’s and son’s points of view. Definitely you must write more in this genre.
Rachna recently posted..Our homemakers!
You made my day, Rachna. I’m still wondering whether there’s any hope for me in fiction writing. I have a long way to go, but at least I’m experimenting, which is good for me.
This is so beautiful Corinne…very haunting. I would love to read more…
Thanks, Colleen. I think I must write more spontaneously than I am wont to. 🙂
It is such a touching and emotinal wrtieup.
b k chowla recently posted..RahulG
Thank you so much, Mr Chowla.
Aww this is both sad and beautiful. I love how the son is so full of dreams. The mom’s fears touched my heart, recalling how her husband died in the sea. Great job, Corinne! ❤ 🙂
Irene recently posted..Stricken
Thank you, Irene. Our dreams are often curbed by our parents fears, as you well know. I tried to bring out both points of view – without taking sides.
I liked this from both points of view. Seems to fit the picture very well too. Great write for this prompt.
If you can–check mine out– on my short story blog: http://theshortstorygal.blogspot.com/2012/10/vanished.html
Cheers, Jenn
Jenn recently posted..Changing Dynamics
Was just experimenting, Jenn. The prompt was fantastic. I liked your story too. Glad to have discovered another blog of yours!
Have started reading you not too long ago Corinne but this one is a wonderful short story. The prespectives are coming through beautifully.
Jas recently posted..Step Back
Thank you first of all for reading, Jas. I do appreciate your comments. I’m glad you liked the story. I’m not really a good story teller – but I’m trying out new things. 🙂
Really nicely written…. there is a inevitable presence in it that can be sad but also empowering !!
Thank you for your comment, Jim. Yes, the presence of a loved one who has passed can be either sad or empowering – depends on how we see it.
So much told in so few lines. Beautiful. Keep them coming 🙂
Latha recently posted..Dealing with Grand Dad
Glad you liked it, Latha. I will try to oblige! 🙂
Corinne, this was beautifully crafted and full of genuine, heart-grabbing emotions. When an author makes me want to return and read something again, I can bet my intuition that I’m in the presence of inspiration. That’s what you did for me in this!
Hope to see much more of your fictional writing in the future, my friend!
Blessings!
Martha Orlando recently posted..Don’t Take Everything for "Granite"!
Martha, your comment put me on Cloud 9 – I’m afraid Jose’s going to have a hard time getting me down! Thank you so much. Your comment means the world to me. ♥
I lov the dual perspective. Isn’t that the basis of any relationshiP? It’s poignant that each feel the other’s pain but are trying to protect each other. The beauty of life and love is seeing the person in front of you, for who they truly are. The son’s yearning to explore even though the very path is one that brings sad memories to both. A mother can protect her child for only so long. I feel the mother’s pain – she doesn’t want to lose twice. But love is never lost .. the physicality of a husband’s presence may be gone but hopefully she too will set sail with her own life once again. Beautiful post and thank you for this thought of love and letting go.
sorry for typos!!
Your so right, Margaret about relationships. If only we could see the other’s point of view, we’d all be in a better place. I know how hard it is for parents to let go of their children, but that’s the only way, isn’t it?
Beautifully told indeed. Very touching and dear. So much said in a few words without the need for explanation.
Galen Pearl recently posted..One Story — Many Lessons
Thank you, Galen. I’m trying hard to work on different methods of writing. Glad this one worked out okay. 🙂
Corinne, What a gift you have. Love the two perspectives. It immediately made me sad and made we think of a dear couple in my church who recently lost a son in a biking accident. He lived near the ocean and loved it so much they put a memorial plaque on a bench over looking the ocean.
Thank you, Lynne. I was sorry to hear about the couple in the Church. What a thoughtful thing to put a plaque on the beach he loved. I hope they find their peace.
Simply amazing!! Ans so very poignant! Love the interpretations of the two people!!
Looking forward to more stories from you!!
Shilpa Garg recently posted..Evolved Bloggers!?!
Thank you, Shilpa. Story writing is certainly not my forte, which is why I’m trying to work on it. Your comment is very encouraging!
love this! the two perspectives is awesome! and both are very engaging… i hope the two can find balance….
daphne recently posted..if i ruled the world