A few months ago, I wanted to start a project and was told by some ‘friends’ that it was a waste of my time. I went ahead anyway. I realized then, and I see it even more clearly now as the ‘tall poppy syndrome’. It’s the habit of putting down people who are showing any hint of being clever or successful.
In India, we all saw this syndrome on display by politicians across parties knocking down the whole Aam Aadmi Movement. It would never work, they said. It does, and it did. Granted they’ve had only minor political success so far, but the movement has hit politicians where it hurts!
Today, I saw evidence of this syndrome once again in the Indian blogosphere. Someone decided that it was alright to publish a part of another blogger’s post and a comment from that blog publicly on their Facebook page and ridicule it. All this in the name of honesty!
We all poke fun of others from time to time. I do it too and it’s not something I’m proud of. However to constantly be cynical, to pick on people who can’t or won’t fight back because they are too new or too young to, and to be mean in the name of honesty is something I do not appreciate. I have just one word for someone like that: bully!
My response to such a person is to cut them out of my circle. I do not want to be constantly listening to someone whinging about the world and everything else. I realize too that such people are insecure and want popularity at all costs!
And to the people who’ve been picked upon, and I know at least two of you, here’s my two bits of wisdom – for what it’s worth.
I recall the words of Oscar Wilde ‘ A cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.’ Remember, such people have never really done anything to make a difference. They just moan and grumble about things. Some people don’t want you to change, to grow, to find your way in the world. They just sit on the sidelines taking potshots at anyone who they see becoming a threat to them in some way. Know when it’s time to move on from them.
Surround yourself with people who want you to grow – who will give you genuine feedback and will be there to help you when you’re down.
And most of all – be yourself. Stick to what you believe in. Don’t try to please everyone, and end up displeasing the one person who matters the most – YOU.
Cory, this “tall syndrome” is partly due to the meek followers who are more than happy to chip in with a “Aye” for everything right or wrong! Well it will continue until the day , the follower is picked on and bullied mercilessly!
Meena Menon recently posted..Stranger In The Night
Oh I know, Meena! They have enough of ‘sponsors’ for their meanness.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..My Happiness Project
Your “two bits of wisdom” are worth a lot!
“Be yourself. Stick to what you believe in. Don’t try to please everyone, and end up displeasing the one person who matters the most – YOU.” Unfortunately, many people try to please everybody else but themselves. As far as I am concerned, each person should only try to please his/her conscience!
I fully agree with you about ‘poking fun at others’. When I came across one such instance on a blog, I sent an email to the blogger. (I wanted my feedback to be private, particularly since I thought the blogger was inadvertently insensitive.) The blogger was kind enough to reply, but simply stated, “It was meant to be harmless fun.” I didn’t bother to reply, but I’m sure that blogger would not like to be the target of similar ‘harmless fun’!
Proactive Indian recently posted..Let us stop scoring self-goals
Harmless fun doesn’t always end well, does it, Pro? 🙁
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Goodbye 2014!
Bullying – yes, that’s how it should be called. This post actually brought a few faces to my mind.. Loved that quote by Oscar Wilde..
Vaisakh recently posted..The helping hand
Yes, Vaisakh. There is no other word for it!
And Wilde is one of my favorite writers – I love his honesty!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..11 Things Every Woman Should Write Down Before the Year Ends
Courage is standing up for those who can’t fight back, and we all need to display this kind of bravery. It is sad whne people hurt others in the name of being frank and open. There is a thin line between being mean and being outspoken, let no one cross that invisible line. Loved the way you have put your thoughts across without singling out or naming the person, hope they get the hint.
Shall we not call your post two minutes of wisdom? Wonderfully said. I agree on your take on political cynicism. Also, in personal life, I have manage to beat the criticism and come back to blog after small phases of let down.
Probably that’s what I need to do. Cut a few out of my personal circle.
Brilliantly put Corinne. In their place, I’d say. IT’s true..it’s the meek followers (as Meena said) who fuel the “bullying behaviour” of these. I’m not sure what the post was or what the comment was, but I’m sure since it yet another act of cyber bullying in the blogosphere. We need to cut them down 🙂 Great post !
Sid recently posted..The Red Carpet
Your article is an eye opener. I never thought that people stoop so low to get popularity. It is better not to write any thing by resorting to such mean practices.
usha menon recently posted..Lohri festival
Very well put Corinne and loved the quote by Oscar Wilde.., while I am glad I did not have the unfortunate experience of witnessing that act of bullying, it does sadden the mind to think we have such bloggers around us 🙁
Seeta recently posted..Hoping for Hope
I loved this post! I see instances of this regularly by holier-than-thou people who get their daily joy by squashing someone down. Never a word of encouragement or appreciation. And they do it publicly – which is what disgusts me.
I admire you for writing this, Corinne. Hugs!
Vidya Sury recently posted..Mindful Living Through Simple Pleasures
Wonderful post Corinne. That’s the easiest way to become popular .. By pulling someone else down. And you’ll always find supporters. Yeah the AAP is a great example. It’s easy to not stick your neck out, to not try.. Trying and failing needs courage and a cynic is a coward.
great topic Corinne and yes to being yourself. That makes one shine.
Suzie Cheel recently posted..Do You Believe in You?
Oh yes, I agree totally agree with Meena. The “mindless follow syndrome” is the reason for this. Just do and say things to please the slightly popular ones to become popular themselves. And speaking as as person who has been a victim to this in the blogosphere, I know how it hurts. But we learn , we grow. Loved that last sentence Corinne. <3
Jyothi Nair recently posted..Book : Sirens Spell Danger
I agree……we should surround ourselves with people with good intentions. Cut toxicity out of our circles!
Michelle Liew recently posted..2013 Contrary Motion
Well said Corinne! A person should not be afraid to cut such people out of their lives. Without them, the quality of life is sure to improve. I don’t believe in putting people down as a general rule. If I can’t say something nice, I don’t say anything at all and believe me there is always something nice to be said. Awful how another’s words can cut life a knife.
Kathy recently posted..You and Me
As long as we have choices to keep away from these people or to say what they have to hear… to an extend these can be reduced I think. Great article as always! 🙂
Sheethal recently posted..Wordless…
Hi Corinne,
Plenty of truth here. ‘Tall Poppy’ is alive and well in Australia. Go with your own instinct I say. Push outside your ‘boundaries’ and achieve great things. Thank You.
Be good to yourself
David
David Stevens recently posted..Your Life is already Electric – Simply plug in!
Hi Corinne
What do they say…”If you can’t say something good about someone say nothing at all.” Sure wish a lot more would follow that, life would be so much better for the rest of us.
Many that tell you that you can’t do something either don’t want you to succeed or think they know everything. So unless they have already done and proved it to be a waste of time or were unsuccessful, then they have no right to be handing out wisdom!
Yep, we need to stay away from those that try to drag us down.
Mary
Mary Stephenson recently posted..The Principle of Ethics
Corinne, someone somewhere is thanking you for this post! I am too…*hugs*…for the pathetic bully, yes the best way is to simply cut all possible connection with this negative person. And your advise to the people who have been picked on…pearls of wisdom! Loved this post!
Yes, bullying is the word. Mocking and assaulting somebody’s dignity to make or keep friends speaks a lot about such people! Keeping your circle of people always positive is the way forward! A fab post, Corinne! 🙂
Shilpa Garg recently posted..14 Jan’14
Excellent insight into the roots of bullying, as well as good advice about moving out of negative relationships toward associations that build up and encourage. May we all become encouragers! Thank you!
Exactly! It’s the people who tear down others who don’t think much of themselves. We need to move out of and away from those who seek to belittle our lives and live purposefully, trusting in the Lord who loves us.
Great post as always, Corinne!
Martha Orlando recently posted..Keep Calm and Carry On
Studies have shown that the belittlers actually have a high self appraisal of themselves. They are vain. They must insult others who might stand in the way of their undue self image.
Bullying is the word for it, but I cannot find peace until justice is restored. I’m not talking about revenge, but isn’t there some way to get back at the bully and Br even with him/her? It doesn’t feel fair to let them go scot free 🙁
Bhavya recently posted..Book Review – The Guardian Angels
Wow!!.. You have explained it so simply.. And these bullies are there every where…
simple girl recently posted..Blogathon 2014 – Post 15: 100 Words on Saturday 2014 – 2
The dead wood should be chopped and got rid off! So agree with what you wrote Corinne!
Good advice, Corinne! Life is too short to dally with assholes. In many cases, as you said, it’s because the person is insecure. They feel bad about themselves and in order to feel better, they trash someone else. Or, perhaps they’re just jealous? In any case I agree – give them the old “Heave Ho”. 🙂
Debbie recently posted..MY CIGARETTE ADDICTION AND HOW TO COPE WITH NICOTINE WITHDRAWAL
Agreed!
While constructive criticism is valuable, comments such as we can’t do it..is just plain useless.
Don’t let those people get to you…because we can all do things, things beyond our wildest imagination.
All we have to do is keep trying (of course, prioritize and strategize, because that will save us a lot of time and effort).
Thank you for sharing this post, Corinne 🙂
Btw, loved the image 😀
Jeevan Jacob John recently posted..Goals, Resolutions and Motives – Why?
Corinne, a bug hug to you for having written this one. I get your point and have seen some such cynics who constantly pull you down. It really helps to have them out of your circle and your life. I have learnt my lessons the hard way and have learnt to move on and chose to ignore anything and everything from such judgmental lot. How good it would be if they realized what they do indirectly by hurting and breaking someone’s confidence could be told in a subtle manner to make the person improve themselves. Thank you for sharing this one. 🙂
Cyber bullying is rife everywhere. Thanks for informing us. Yes, best to move away when that happens. Very well written. Hugs.
Suzy recently posted..UBC Day 17 – The Little Shoe
My first visit and I enjoyed reading some of your posts! On this one I entirely agree with you “Surround yourself with people who want you to grow..” and to believe in ourselves.
Have a lovely Sunday 🙂
Dilip recently posted..What can a child teach elders?
So many sins in the name of honesty–I see it all the time. Good post!
Carol Cassara recently posted..The power of the past
A very thought provoking post, Corinne. I am glad I don’t have many people who pull me down around me. But, how blatant is that posting other people’s posts on FB? And attention grabbers, best medicine for them is ignorance.
Found In Folsom recently posted..A Woman with an enlarged heart!!!
To ridicule like that is indeed horrible. I love your thoughts… I have always kept myself away from people who try to pull down.. not only me but others as well.
Rajlakshmi recently posted..55 Fiction – Selfish
Brilliant post Corinne. Spot on.
If you have to bully, threaten or ridicule someone in order to be seen and heard, then I guess you’ve not got much of a life and need help in finding yourself.
Sometimes people are good at what they do but others are so jealous of their work, that they’ll try everything to distract them from producing more good work.
And I like the words of wisdom you also gave to the ones being picked on too.
Rum Punch Drunk recently posted..Till Death Us Do Part?
Oh well, sometimes it’s not easy to get rid of them especially if you are working with them. But for the most part, I thank God that the people I encounter in my work place are mostly educators and therefore, they rejoice in my growth.
I have learned many things the hard way but I did learn. I’ve learned to be more loving to myself. Well, yeah, I guess, cutting people off their habits of whining to make them aware of it is okay.
Thank you for this post BS.
Melissa recently posted..Epiphany: On Life and Nature