There are times when José and I are discussing something and a painful memory might pop up. And I tell him that I don’t want to discuss the topic at that moment. Memories can be difficult and they bring with them a lot of pain, often unresolved. But I’ve learned over the last few years that no healing can take place without stirring the pot of distressing memories.
“But the memories that hang heaviest are the easiest to recall. They hold in their creases the ability to change one’s life, organically, forever. Even when you shake them out, they’ve left permanent wrinkles in the fabric of your soul.”
― Julie Gregory, Sickened: The Memoir of a Munchausen by Proxy Childhood
Stirring The Pot Of Distressing Memories
Memories are an integral part of the human experience, shaping our identities and influencing our behavior. While some memories bring joy and comfort, others can be distressing, haunting us with pain, regret, or trauma.
Let’s delve into the reasons why it is essential to confront and process distressing memories, understanding the psychological impact they can have on our lives and the potential benefits of addressing them head-on.
#1 Unresolved Emotions Linger
When we suppress distressing memories, we also suppress the emotions attached to them. This can lead to unresolved feelings that linger beneath the surface, affecting our mental and emotional well-being. By stirring the pot of distressing memories, we give ourselves the opportunity to acknowledge and process these emotions, paving the way for healing and growth.
“We bury things so deep we no longer remember there was anything to bury. Our bodies remember. Our neurotic states remember. But we don’t.”
― Jeanette Winterson, Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?
#2 Breaking Free from the Past
Distressing memories can act as invisible chains, anchoring us to events that no longer serve us. Confronting these memories helps us break free from their grip, allowing us to move forward unburdened by the weight of the past. It is only by facing our demons that we can find the strength to overcome them.
#3 Learning and Resilience
Each distressing memory holds within it valuable lessons. By examining these memories with an open mind, we can gain insights into our behaviors, coping mechanisms, and vulnerabilities. This self-awareness allows us to build resilience, empowering us to face future challenges with greater strength and understanding.
#4 Reclaiming Personal Power
Allowing distressing memories to control us gives away our personal power. By confronting these memories, we reclaim control over our narrative. We become the authors of our own stories, no longer mere victims of circumstances but survivors who have faced adversity and emerged stronger.
#5 Improved Relationships
Unresolved distressing memories can impact our relationships, causing us to react in ways that are shaped by past traumas. By confronting and processing these memories, we can foster healthier connections with others. This newfound emotional awareness enables us to communicate more effectively and build deeper, more meaningful relationships.
#6 Professional Growth
Our past experiences, both positive and negative, shape our professional lives as well. Unresolved distressing memories may lead to self-doubt, fear of failure, or difficulties with authority figures. By addressing these memories, we can improve our self-confidence, decision-making abilities, and overall performance in the workplace.
#7 Inspiring Others
Sharing our journey of confronting distressing memories can inspire others to do the same. By being open about our struggles and how we’ve triumphed over them, we create a supportive environment where others feel empowered to tackle their own emotional baggage.
Stirring the pot of distressing memories may be challenging, but it is a necessary step towards personal growth and healing. Confronting these memories allows us to face the pain, process the emotions, and emerge stronger and wiser. By doing so, we break free from the shackles of the past and create a brighter future for ourselves and those around us.
My life definitely changed for the better when I decided to work through these memories in my writing. My Morning Pages practice, journaling and writing about them on the blog and social media helped me to being my healing journey.
You can decide today – embrace your past, learn from it, and let it fuel your journey towards a more fulfilled and authentic life. Remember, you are not defined by your distressing memories; you are defined by your courage to confront them.
Connect about #WritingToHeal
Writing has proven to be the most profound method for self-reflection and personal progression in my own life. It has provided me with a powerful means to navigate through my pains and embark on a journey of healing. I am eager to extend my assistance to you, dear reader, in discovering your own path to healing through the art of writing. If you desire further information, please don’t hesitate to contact me. Let’s connect and engage in a conversation about this invaluable process.
I’m sharing some #WriteToHeal Prompts on my Instagram stories (check highlights for older stories). Do write along.
There’s something ’bout a real high fever,
one that’s high enough to kill,
that it can become a lever
to send bad mem’ries down the hill
bouncing, spinning, shedding bits
and now ever gaining speed,
far too fast to call it quits,
and rushing onward with the need
to crash on through unconscious bush
and splinter in Forgotten Lake.
It didn’t even need a push,
it just needed my brain to bake
all that bad juju from old days
and send ’em on their merry ways.
A wonderful encouragement to be courageous in facing the past so that we might live freely in the present and in the future.
This is a great post, Corinne! I agree, facing up to those memories, speaking about them and processing them can definitely help us move on and find greater freedom.
Just an FYI, there’s something wrong with your “like” button. So often I’ve wanted to like one of your posts–including this one, but where it says “Like this” there’s nothing to click on, and if you click on the words, nothing happens. There is a small grayed out box underneath the words that always says “loading” in grayed out letters. I’m guessing if the option was working properly, that’s where we should click to leave a like.