Red flags can show up quickly in a new relationship. If you ignore them, you could end up being hurt. If you are the type of person who tends to fall in love quickly, it’s a good idea to know which red flags to look out for so you don’t run the risk of spending months with someone you are not compatible with.
When Love Says Stop: Spotting Those Little Red Flags in Your New Relationship
If you want to save time and heartbreak, follow this checklist of signs and signals to watch out for in your relationship.
The ex-factor: If the only things your partner has to say about his or her ex are negative, they may not yet have recovered from their previous relationship. Either that or he or she is generally a resentful person.
The big secret: If your partner seems reluctant to introduce you to his or her friends and family, they are showing a distinct lack of pride in being with you. Alternatively, they may be ashamed of their friends or family; an equally bad sign.
The scorekeeper: No one wants to be in a relationship with a partner who keeps a tally of all the things they do for you, just so they can say they do more than you do. Don’t put up with it. You should both do things because you love and appreciate each other.
The drama factor: This can apply to both men and women. Some people are not happy until there are fighting about something. There are plenty of other ways to add excitement to your life.
The abuser: If your partner is making constant derogatory remarks to or about you, it’s time to walk away. He or she obviously has no respect for you.
The unfair fighter: If your partner is still harping on about things that happened months ago, this is another red flag, particularly when he or she uses it as ammunition in a fight.
The needy factor: It’s nice to feel needed, but if you partner is so dependent on you that he or she can’t do things without you, that’s taking things too far and leading to an unhealthy relationship. Read this article about neediness to find out more.
The micromanager: In a healthy relationship, a couple evolves together. If your partner is trying to gain control over every aspect of your life, this is a huge red flag because over time it will destroy your self-esteem.
The do-no-wrong factor: We all make mistakes and an honest and honorable person will apologize and move on. If your partner is always unwilling to accept responsibility for their behavior and refuses to apologize, this is a major red flag.
The guilt-tripper: Is your partner trying to make you feel guilty about not spending every spare minute with them? If so, this is a sign of self-esteem and boundary issues. You need to have your personal space, bear this in mind.
The dislike factor: If your close friends and family members don’t like your partner, that’s a good sign that he or she is not right for you. Those closest to you know you better than anyone does, and if they think you partner is not right for you, they probably have a point.
The no-comfort zone: Another huge red flag is if your partner doesn’t offer you any comfort when you are upset, or they disregard you in situations where your comfort is threatened.
The disinterest factor: It hurts when your partner doesn’t show any interest in the things that are important to you, especially if you take the time to follow his or her interests. Perhaps it’s time to find someone with whom you have more in common.
The text deleter: If your partner is constantly deleting texts as quickly as he or she receives them, this is obviously another red flag. What exactly are they trying to hide from you?
The lie factor: If your partner tells small lies about trivial things, you can be certain he or she is being dishonest about bigger things. Lying is never okay. Don’t let your partner use lies or excuses to get away with things.
If more than one red flag is popping up within the first few months of your relationship, take a deep breath and re-evaluate the situation. You may realize that it’s time to move on. It will save you time and energy later.
[box type=”bio”] Amelia Gardiner is a personal counselor who is always looking for ways to help people deal with live better. She also likes to share whatever she discovers by posting on various relationship and lifestyle blogs.[/box]