Certain events in the last few weeks have left me feeling very cheated by some people I considered friends. A simple call for space was met with so much drama and attempts to control me, that I was aghast. While at my age, the behavior and choices of people should no longer surprise me – I guess I continue to be naive at many levels. The details are not important, but my feelings are. I have been told that my blog was being scanned for posts about them. I was even asked by one ‘well-wisher’ not to write anything about these people. I have and I will continue to write what I wish to on this and other situations. I will continue to be split open.
No, I am not bitter and don’t wish any of these people ill. Neither am I saying that I’m right and they’re wrong. What I am saying is that I will not be silent about things that affect me.
I have sought over the last few years to make this blog a place of authenticity. I’m not going to be a cover-up artist and pretend all is well. Neither am I going to write ‘tell-alls’ with names and details. No, I will discuss my feelings and how I am processing them. I will write about what I’ve learned from situations. Because that’s what life is about – loving, being hurt, hurting, and learning to forgive and let go. If someone tells me that they’re above all of this, then I will start an application for her sainthood or call her a liar. I will also ask her to kindly stop reading my blog/s.
As I mentioned in this post, for too long I have allowed other people to dictate my words and actions – no longer.
“Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.” – Natalie Goldberg
Thank you for your comments on my past few posts – the responses will be completed over the next few days.