I am speaking my truth. Finally. And boy, does it feel good.
In recent times I’ve been rather put off by a lot of negative and even hateful stuff that I’ve seen being shared on social networks. I was filled with disgust when a person I admired shared a picture of President Obama with a blatantly racist message under it. I get that he was mad at Obama’s policies, but that didn’t give him license to be a racist. Another person shared a message that basically said all members of a particular religion are terrorists. How crazy is that!
It took me a while to say what I did, but I finally put out a Facebook status message saying that I had had enough and might have to cut some people off my list. Does that mean I’m saying you cannot share anything unless it meets my approval? Not at all. All I’m saying is that I consider some statements and views to be offensive. I don’t want to see them or read them. That is my choice. If anyone wants to share them, that’s their choice. However, I might choose to cut them out of my circle. No threats. Just the truth.
In my quest this year to be authentic, I find myself getting more comfortable stating my views and not being bothered about being popular. In the past, I would tend to sugarcoat my words and sometimes lose out on the content of my message. I’m learning not to be too bothered about what others think of my words, so long as I know that these words are coming from my own beliefs and values. What I’m learning about authenticity is that it simplifies life. I say what I truly believe and don’t stress about how it is viewed.
I would love hear about your own experiences of speaking your truth and how comfortable you are doing that. Do share.
Hi Corinne – completely agree with being authentic to ourselves. And saying what we think and believe.
At the same time, others have that right too as you point out – we have the choice to not listen to them, not read their facebook posts or not friend them. haha I’ve read a couple points I didn’t agree with which were offensive and did not continue friendships on facebook with those people. I realized I would never be around them in real life so why in facebook? does the online world change relationships completely? Is it ok for us to be friends with people we find offensive online? When we never would in real life?
On a more professional level for work, I regularly stand up for ideas, thoughts, and advocate for those who are not always welcomed by mainstream society. It’s not a pleasant place to be always (not being well-received or liked by others) but no other place than where I would be.
Oh No! I got into terrible trouble speaking my mind. I prefer to be off Facebook rather than on it these days and as for saying what I really want to say- forget it. The wise man keeps his counsel.
Unsubscribe everything and everyone you don’t want to read ! I do the same 🙂
There can be nothing better and simpler than saying the truth Corinne!
You did the right thing to put up such a status, and being able to convey your thoughts openly for everyone to take note, which is something not many can do – is commendable too. Yes, we tend to be tied down in our own fears and worries, but coming to think of it, we aren’t really being true to ourselves, nor to the circle of friends we have.
I too have wondered as to why some people have just such things to share, when life is full of such beautiful things that need to be appreciated. I guess you don’t need such friends, especially if you have conveyed your feelings and yet they don’t listen.
Thanks for sharing this with all of us. 🙂
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Ahhh Corinne, I think as we grow older, we become more comfortable in our own bodies and what others think of us becomes less important. Over the last month or so, I have become very ‘bored’, shall I say, with facebook. I am one of those people who share a lot of stuff in that social media, but I’m careful to keep the racist remarks out of my page. But, then again, what I feel is racist may not be the same as what you feel it is. Not long ago, I disagreed with someone on something and was called a racist. Nothing to do with racism, everything to do with I simply didn’t agree with their particular point of view.
So, keeping this in mind and realizing that everyone looks at everything differently, I just scroll down my page. If there is something that is offensive to me personally, I just hide it, or keep on scrolling. Especially if this is not a common occurrence. But, everyone needs to do what they feel is best for them 🙂
Regarding on-line relationships…do we ever truly know who is on the other end of the keyboard??? Unless we have met them personally along the way in our relationship, we only know what they tell us and little tid bits we pick up now and again. If someone is posting something that makes you uncomfortable, then certainly, de-friend them. After all, it is just another form of social media. A good way to know who you truly appreciate on-line is to ask yourself “who would I miss if my internet was down for a month?” Your answer is a pretty good indicator who you should keep on your friend’s list 🙂
Thanks for sharing!!
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Corrine – I love this post! It serves as an affirmation of a journey I am on as well. I want peace, I want to encourage peace, and I will not view or encourage anything that threatens a sense of peace to anyone…but I will question and bring attention to nay-sayers.
My post today on my wall was “If we are to bring peace to the world we must look inside first. We cannot bring peace to others without understanding ourselves. Please look deep, conquer your fears and share the lesson. We are all better for the experience.”
I agree with you and must tell you that you have been a mentor and honest fine example of self examination and growth.
Thank you for the post 🙂
Ron recently posted..Reality of Fear
Speaking the truth is like daring yourself to do something extraordinary, these days. Since, this world has become so plastic and artificial. I am also taking baby steps towards it, and Boy! it does feel good once done. However, the target does not feel so good…lol
So, either I stay quiet to avoid speaking the “Truth” or avoid meeting such people.
Life is very precious to be spent around such hoaxes!
A very thought provoking blog, Corrine. Enjoyed it!
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YES! I was already a great admirer of yours, but this makes me think even MORE highly of you.
We need to be authentic and honest with ourselves and not let what others say about our beliefs or views deter us from being the who we know we are. Ironically, I just had a friend notify me that, though she wished me every success with my book, she was going to “unfriend” me because she didn’t like my political views which, ironically once again, I rarely post. If it bothers her that much that she had to make this move, then at least she is being true to herself. I honor her for that.
I also liked what Mary said above about some posts being misinterpreted; I know I’ve made some judgments in my mind about folks when I didn’t understand where they were coming from. However, I do what she does if I don’t like a post for whatever reason – hide it or just keep scrolling as it will soon disappear.
Great reflection, Corinne – truly good food for thought!
Blessings!
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I saw your message that day and was very proud to be your fb friend 🙂
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I value my friendships , I value myself and my views. There have been times when people close to me have lied. I can severe an online friendship, but, in real life, and with people close to me I will have to think twice. That does not mean that I am bowing down. I do make it a point to say that I know the truth. I will interact less with that person. If the person wants to stay away, it is fine with me.
Dear Corinne,
Truth always sets you free. And shocks too. And doesn’t digest well too.
But remaining on the side of truth is a big responsibility and a bigger task that needs commitment. It’s easy to just stay mute. And be a spectator.
Kudos to you.
TC, Punam
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Hi Corrine,
Not too many fluff…Simple and straightforward..
Even bloggers have started writing so much to make PANDA and Google happy, I guess..
You are one of the very few authentic authors who has the command to convey a powerful message in few words…
I have seen a few bloggers who write long statements more often for someone clicking their link than being genuine…What’s your thoughts on this.. I am just being plainly honest like you and not being bothered about what others think
Inspiring Citizen Rafi recently posted..Real Inspirational Story Of A Courageous Village Boy Who Battled To Reach The Top Of The World – Series 1
Luckily, no one in my circle has done anything like that yet, but I definitely would not hesitate to cut them off if they did. I know it’s not that easy; it’s a complicated thing to say that you will cut someone off; it’s not college! But, I feel that I have the means to switch off their newsfeed to me, and to, slowly but surely, step back from associating with them in real life!
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I certainly admire you for being honest and truthful. I do that very often and may rub some people the wrong way. Of course, the intention is not to be rude but as you pointed just to be more truthful to one’s own self. As Janaki pointed out, it can be easier to do that with virtual friends or folks we don’t know intimately. It takes us a short step to cut them off: turn off their notifications, unfriend them or whatever. But, it is very difficult to do with people close to us. We might not like some traits that they exhibit but still put up with them. I am also realizing that as powerful as social media is if we continue to be bombarded by negativity, it does have an impact on us. And, it is for us to choose to block out that negativity. So, in that sense it is a step in the right direction. Good, thought-provoking post, Corinne.
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HI Corinne
You have done a commendable job, very difficult to tell the truth and people don’t like to listen that.
I was on one of the chatterbox and I made a statement that it is very difficult to earn from blogging….Believe me half of the people were after my blood when I said so. I had to chew my words.
I’m not at that level where I can choose to be truthful but surely I have been trying to do that.At best I remain silent when I disapprove something.
Thanks Corinne for sharing this.
Sapna
I think in life we have to do what we think is right and what uplifts us. But I also think at some point in our life, we have offended someone (probably completely inadvertently) or dropped into negativity – after all life cannot be on a high all the time. For me personally, if I don’t like what I read, I simply ignore. Sometimes when someone is down and out, it helps for another human being to reach out and touch them – I look at some negative personal posts in that way. Having said that, I have unfriended twice – once when a person was continuously posting stuff that was absolutely revolting to me and it disgusted me beyond my acceptable limits and another time when a person was impersonating a friend. A very thought provoking post Corinne – I really had to think about my response. Good post and ever so true – authenticity simplifies our life.
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Hi Corinne ,
Thanks for sharing this interesting topic.I can connect with this as i am a person who stand on my views and never think what other will think about the views i give.I always stick to the truth.
I have alot of experiences that you had over social network and i can understand the your point of view.
Thank You
Shorya Bist
From Youthofest
Shorya Bist recently posted..Importance of time management
I believe for the sake of your own brain, one needs to speak the truth and press the unfriend button on FB. As it is people like me spend more than half my jawani on FB and if I start reading all these nonsensical and hatred filled updates, I will not live long to see my boys marry and bring home that daughter I have always craved for 🙂 🙂
Ps: err please don’t ban me from here because of my totally “unrelated-to-the-post-type-of-comments” okay? As a bribe I will post more videos of the twins just for you 😉
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More power to you Corinne…It is always better to get things off our chest. You feel so much lighter 🙂
Lazy Pineapple recently posted..The Hobbit- An unexpected journey
I agree with you. It’s not worth having people in your life who bring you down and do nothing but cause you negativity and stress. They serve no purpose. I’m trying to weed such people out of my life too.
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Corinne, I agree with everyone… I feel the same. ‘Hold your ground’. :))) Love, Granny Gee/Gloria
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I remember reading that on your FB page and I think you have every right to do so. And also I have felt that if we have people who continuously do such things, they actually bring nothing but drain the happiness so I would also not mind blocking them out.
Jas recently posted..The Red Cycle
Racism receives a cut and dried response from me. I will not tolerate it. I will stop following anyone who is into tossing about racist slurs. Personal attacks are also something I will not tolerate. I stop following anyone who deviates from addressing the subject matter and descends into defaming others.
However, I do uphold freedom of speech and I stand on side with those who express contrarian views even if I do not share them because I believe we need to hear all sides of any issue. I will not defriend or unfollow anyone simply because we do not share the same POV on everything. I will not mark dissenting POV as spam. Obviously, we must be sharing some common ground or we wouldn’t be following one another. There is so much room for error when it comes to conversing online because we can’t see the other person and pick up clues on tone and emotions via body language, etc. I’m pretty sure every one of us has been in the position offending someone online when speaking our truth without ever meaning to. I’m likewise pretty sure we have also taken offense to something someone else said online, though they may not have intended to insult or offend us at all.
I’m an introvert who naturally mulls things over. I’m also committed to becoming more empathic towards myself and others. If I feel someone I follow has expressed a POV that is making me uncomfortable then I feel a need to examine why that is before I respond to it, or simply choose not to respond at all.
Like you I’m focused on being authentic and speaking my truth but I have found that my words online can be misinterpreted more frequently than they ever are offline. In the offline world I am not chatty. I am a taciturn person and being online has helped me become more outgoing so but at a cost. In person I have very clear body language and facial expressions and my gestures are easily interpreted. That’s 60 – 80% of my communication clearly conveyed to others, without even opening my mouth. In the online world I have been compelled to communicate in words only and often within a time-frame that’s not in keeping with my inclinationto think long and hard before speaking up.
I do aim to be respectful of others, while still remaining true to myself. However, I’m not perfect so sometimes I may miss the mark and others aren’t perfect either so there may be times they may misunderstand what I have tried to say. So while blogging is built on relationships, and while good manners (netiquette) always ought to prevail, I have to remind myself daily to recognize that not everyone will like me or what I have to say, and some will even read emotions and motives into what I say that don’t exist.
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Hi Corinne !
It takes courage to speak the truth, and let others know what you think! When it comes to listening to what others are saying, or how they behave towards you. There is always a fear, of not being accepted, and losing out on the relationship, but continuing in a relationship and pretending all is well is worse, as it does not allow us to be ourselves.
I have learnt over a period of time in my life, to be myself, and accept whoever comes into my life with gratitude, but at the same time ensuring that I do not live upto their expectations, and if needed I may even leave those relationships which are not helping me in being myself and make my own contributions towards making this world a better, tolerable and harmonious place to live in. The last time, I saw someone posting a vulgar picture, (which I felt was insulting women) I just blocked the person, and I was comfortable and happy to do so.
You made me think … and I am glad to read your post! The what caption, just loved it. Thanks Corinne !
I got into terrible trouble speaking the truth. I prefer to be off Facebook than on it. And as for saying what I feel, forget it. The wise man keeps his counsel rather than tell the truth.
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Hi Corinne,
I don’t like it when people don’t think about the things they post on FB or other places. I also read comments after posts on popular sites and I just shake my head when I read what “faceless” people say on the internet because they are anonymous..
Justin recently posted..Gregg Braden on Consciousness
Authenticity rules! It’s the only truly healthy way forward. I am embracing it more and more each day.
It’s about being kind to yourself and kind to others at the same time. It’s about courageous living 😉
There will always be people who may not understand our opinions or our actions. I’ve learned as well to take this in stride as long as I know I am true to myself and what I believe in. Very thought provoking post Corinne!
Hi Corrine!
I’m commenting on your blog for the first time and I’m glad it is regarding a topic I feel very strongly about. Truth is like a bitter medicine that everyone likes to prescribe but doesn’t want to taste himself and the number of people who sugarcoat their words to tone down the effect of the truth, well, they aren’t any good either.
I saw your comment on Facebook and was happy you actually put all that down in words, loud and clear. I’ve stopped commenting on most people’s updates solely for one reason, the kind of liberties they tend to take while on a social platform and their rather reckless attitude towards people who it is directed to.
Even while I say this I have to confess that I’ve had trouble being upfront with people at times, but have somehow managed to get my point across. Being honest and truthful sometimes demands a rather stern attitude towards people we care for, but in the end what’s right is right, right? 🙂
Regards,
Varsh.
I agree Corinne. Stating an opinion is not the same thing as attacking another person because they are different than you are. That has nothing to do with expressing opinion and everything to do with spreading hate and racism. I detest it and will always speak out against it. Just because we have the right to free speech in the US doesn’t mean we won’t reap the consequences of what we say if it is inflammatory or racist.
Thanks for a wonderful post!
PS…I accidently deleted a comment you made on my blog…unintentionally…it happened once before and I realized tonight how…the page moved just a bit and refreshed just as I tried to delete a spam comment posted right above yours….I apologize and want you to know I value every comment you make on my posts. 😀
cath recently posted..struttin
Maybe the biggest truth I spoke of was deciding on what to do with my life. It got me sick but I think that was how it shook my entire life into living authentically.
My SD says it takes a lot of courage to be going against the flow of other people’s thoughts and judgments of us… who cares what other people say, really? Most criticisms are self limiting…
Lots of love to you and blessings on your journey BS!
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Corinne I have always been labelled as rude for being brutally honest many times with people I love and are close to me. Simply for I care and I would rather let them know their flaws rather than have the world laugh at them. But off late I have realised that truth comes with its own price to pay for and I could not cope up with the rising prices of saying the truth.
Hence very recently I have stopped saying the truth and choosing to be quiet instead and let them keep guessing!
Privy Trifles recently posted..Treasured Ardor – Chapter 20
It’s hard to speak the truth on social networks. But I know how happy it feels like when the truth is spoken. I hate status messages of hurt children/ gross pictures and asking to share them. A like = something and share = something. I just can’t take that crap.
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