Does sorry seem to be the hardest word? I ask in my guest post over at BlogAdda.com today.
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
No, this is not about Elton’s famous song.
Our boxer, Pablo, takes socks from the washing and leaves them lying in the sitting room. He knows what he’s doing is wrong. When my husband or I find the offending object, we call Pablo and say something like: “Who did this?” Pablo doesn’t make eye contact and looking very contrite, he puts one paw up to say he is sorry for what he has done. However, if we continue with our line of questioning, he turns around and walks away, as if to say: “I said I was sorry, now get on with your life.” The whole exercise is repeated a few weeks later.
So is this post about our dog? No. As much as I love Pablo, this is not entirely about him.
Pablo’s behaviour reminds me of the cases of plagiarism we’ve been seeing around the Indian blogosphere for the last few months. In June, a friend informed me that a certain woman blogger seemed to be copying my posts. Unfortunately, he was right. She had copied at least two of my posts word for word. When I shared this in a forum, a band of very determined women bloggers left comments on her blog to let her know that she had been outed. How did she respond? She wrote to me telling me that she was sorry but she didn’t know that she was doing something wrong. Besides, she said, how could she help it if she had exactly the same thoughts as I did?
A month later, a blogger who had been found copying posts and entering them for a competition, showed no remorse when she was found out. She brazenly thanked the owner of the original content for being her ‘inspiration’. When a group of us insisted that she take down the post, she said she was sorry, but how awful of us to accuse her of plagiarism. She all but accused us of not giving her a chance to defend herself. She also managed to get a few bloggers to say in her defence: “She said ‘Sorry’. Now let’s get on with our lives.”
This makes me conclude that ‘sorry’ doesn’t seem to be the hardest word any longer. No, it’s something you say to get people off your back. Once you say sorry then you are technically the aggrieved party. How can people then be so offensive as to ask you to make amends for your action?
All this while I thought that sorry meant: ‘I have hurt you and I take responsibility for my actions. How can I make amends?’ But no, I’m wrong. Sorry. Someone re-wrote the rules and didn’t inform me!
Cute indeed Corinne!
I guess dogs especially have that sorry feeling and have their own ways of expressing themselves when they are scolded, knowing they have done something wrong. My dog just looks down as if in shame and from the corner of his eyes he will glance for a second to see the expression on my face and then looks down again – if I am still angry. 🙂
Yes indeed, for some people sorry is the hardest word. Going right over to check out your post. 🙂
Harleena Singh recently posted..Are You a Love Teacher
Oh you Pablo, you remind me so much of Fudge. I love it when they lower their eyes and ask for forgiveness. A big kiss and hug to Pablo
rimly recently posted..GONE
Yes. Dogs show us so many things we don’t understand otherwise 🙂
sangeeta khanna recently posted..a gluten free Panforte : dried prunes, figs and nuts together in a yummy dense cake…
Thanks Corrine. read the full text at Blog Adda. It was such a good post and so true. People like a conscience these days .. I really do notice this and it hurts. That they don’t care when they hurt someone. I find it very strange since I feel even for those I dislike. People tell me I am too sensitive or too emotional. But I think that feeling and caring are the basic things we can do as human beings. I know that the post was just about Sorry.. But it triggered so many thoughts after. I also found a very interesting post on Blog Adda by Nandita Iyer after reading yours. Loved it. So thank you.
Sorry used to be a hard word to me personally when I wa younger, but it gets easier. but yeah I too feel that sorry is to be said to the right people who wont put their share of the blame on u just because u valued the relationship enough to apologise!
sorry is a hard word. I don’t know why. For me. But not for my 8 year old. He says it too much. Not sure why there either.
sandra tyler recently posted..Old-Post Resurrection Hop: The Unknown Neighbor
I know they’re both boxers but Pablo could be Leroy’s twin. Leroy does not yet know how to apologize. Hope he learns.
I’m off to read your post.
Its easy to say sorry if it comes from the heart.
Joe recently posted..La Ferme Cheese
I read your guest post, didn’tcomment there, so I will do it here. I am going through this with my grandkids right now. They say sorry with absolutely no remorse, just saying the words. Kearstyn tonight after an argument, said to me; “see sorry doesn’t work.” I didn’t have the words to explain to her what was wrong with the way she said it. Thank you, now I do! <3
This reminded me of my younger one. She barely said sorry and one time she did something wrong and took her couple hours to utter the word, “sorry.” But then, once she said it, she hardly ever repeated the same mistakes.
Journey of Life recently posted..Old-Post Resurrection Hop: My Tiny Spider
Pablo is adorable….people say sorry to get on with life, but not many mean it. Unless it comes from the heart ‘sorry’ is meaningless.
i love the design of your blog. Its soothing.
Pablo is precious!! I just want to come hug him! At least dogs appear to be honest, often brutally so. My cat, as is common with all cats, would never appear to admit her wrongdoing. She’d sit there like a queen with her head up, as if to say, “What?? How could you even THINK that I would do that. Hmmphhhh…” Then she’d prance away with her tail up in the air to go take a luxurious nap on the most comfortable bed she can find (usually mine). What our Gracie would do to say she’s sorry (IF she ever is), is rub against me and start purring, and that calms my heart and puts me under her power again!
For some people Corinne, that 5-letter word is one of the toughest words to let slide out between their lips. For others, saying sorry seems like second nature and they say it almost automatically. I don’t expect ‘sorry’ from someone unless it is truly deserved and is sincere. Great post. Hope you have a wonderful weekend!
He does look sorry ~ how could one resist those eyes? Geez…
I visited your blog and have commented. I believe that ‘sorry’ is difficult to say ~ sometimes, I wait for it…often, I ask for it… I think those mindless sorries hurt because we have been offended and we darn ‘need’ to hear it.
I think ‘forgiving’ the person even if he/she doesn’t ask for it is more challenging… to put one’s foot forward and returning charity for an offense ~ these are difficult but possible.
Melissa Tandoc recently posted..Day by Day
Pablo is a cutie. My dog Jolly gets the sorry look on his face when he is caught destroying several rolls of toilet paper all over the living room floor. I have seen that look before. LOL
Kathy
http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com
Kathy recently posted..Silent Sunday
Shoot! I can’t believe that was happening to you! I also can’t believe that she had the exact same thoughts immediately after you did—WORD FOR WORD. Geez. And if you’re winning prizes with someone else’s work, you have to be aware that there could end up being a lawsuit against you. And sorry just won’t cut it. I think. I’m not sure how that would work in India.
femmefrugality recently posted..Is Your Money in the Stars?
I didn’t get the essence of this post to be honest.
Do you mean to say that we should not give people the space to make too many sorry?
Looking forward for better clarity from your end..
Inspiring Citizen Rafi recently posted..See How 18 Year Old Ammar Ali Built A Blog Worth $1,16,665 In 12 Months – A Straightforward Interview With Him
HI Rafi – I’m wondering if you went on to the link to read my post at BlogAdda. Let me know if you did and still need a clarification.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..This Moment {18 January 2013}
Hi Corrine,
I haven’t read your post at BlogAdda..I will definitely go through it and will get back to u if I still find it hard to digest..
Inspiring Citizen Rafi recently posted..See How 18 Year Old Ammar Ali Built A Blog Worth $1,16,665 In 12 Months – A Straightforward Interview With Him
Hello Corrine,
Blogadda was new for me and the new definition of sorry was difficult for me to digest.
That post was truly salt and pepper in the right quantity.
Thank you once again for your prompt response and guiding me to blogadda.com
Inspiring Citizen Rafi recently posted..See How 18 Year Old Ammar Ali Built A Blog Worth $1,16,665 In 12 Months – A Straightforward Interview With Him
I can understand that look better. Our Johnny will have exact same look when he pulls out my plants after I just potted them or if he tears away all my kid’s bedsheets as we won’t allow him to sleep on my kid’s bed.
Coming to the post, I have to honestly admit that these days there is absolute lack of integrity in atleast a section of people and they just don’t mind stopping to any level to get things done their way and sorry is just another tool for them and it doesn’t come from their heart as they think they are always right