A friend turned 50 today and asked me for advice on ‘life in the fifties‘. I told him that in my fifties I’ve learned to stand up for myself and I’ve also learned to (pardon my language) kick butt! We made a joke about it, but it got me thinking of how much more I am invested in myself and how I am showing up for my life.
What Does Showing Up For My Life Mean?
I turned 50 in 2015 and it was the year that my word was ‘Daring Greatly‘. It was when I recommitted myself to being emotionally brave and authentic.
Daring greatly is something I have to keep working on. But I know that in doing that I’ve been showing up for my life.
Speaking My Truth
When you start telling your truth, it either makes people uncomfortable, or it creates the basis of some solid relationships.
Believe me when I tell you, that many people can’t handle the truth, even if it’s my story I’m talking about. They will try to hush you up or serve up platitudes. But then there are those who totally get you and appreciate your honesty. Your courage to share encourages to tell their stories too.
So in a way, you get to sift the grain from the sand and know who are ‘your people’.
Challenging Injustice
Many people who knew me in my twenties and thirties and haven’t been in touch with me since, might remember me as a soft-spoken person. They might also tell you that I was a peacemaker. But that started to change in my forties. Now, I just have to speak up when I see injustice.
When I recently saw bearded men being taken aside to have their hand luggage checked at the airport, while people like me were told to board, I had to ask. I went to the counter and presented my bag for checking. I was told it was not necessary. I asked what the criteria was, and when three security persons said ‘Random’ at the same time, I knew Muslim men were the target. I told them it was unfair.
I also quit the NGO I was working for when I saw the injustice to the staff and also a whole lot of things that didn’t seem ethical. I insisted on meeting with the Board to voice my views.
In both cases, nothing might come of my speaking out, but I have the satisfaction of knowing that I stood up for what I believed in.
Working Towards My Dreams
In January, I realized how I had slowly started losing myself and forgetting my dreams. This year, I thought I would focus on giving my all to the NGO and then quitting once I had set some systems in place. Life has a funny way of reminding us to follow our deepest desires. When I quit, I started to rethink about my dreams and am working towards making them come true.
There are many more ways I’ve got to show up for myself – two important ones being my health and my relationship (or lack of it) with money. But I’ve made a start and I’m going to keep showing up no matter how hard it might be.
“Our fate lives within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.” – Brave
Just Showed Up for My Life
Spending my time sleep walking
Moving my mouth but not saying a thing
Hoping the changes would take by working their way from the outside in
I was in love with an idea
Preoccupied with how a life should appear
Spending my time at the surface repairing the holes in the shiny veneer
There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright
I’m going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel all that’s honest and real until I’m truly amazed
I’m going to feel all my emotions
I’m going to look you in the eyes
I’m going to listen and hear until it’s finally clear and it changes our lives
There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real
And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright
– By Sara Groves and Joel Hanson
Well it took me a lot longer to show-up for my life! Suppressed as a child and knew it best never to make waves after a number of times being shot down for having an opinion. You learn it is easier to say nothing. Yet I have come to the point in my life where I try not to fix the world as I really can’t. I only speak out when I can do something about it. Can’t spend my time or emotions on other people’s causes that don’t resonate with me. Life is too short to fight all the fights of injustice. I am just now beginning to cry foul when it is not right or fair to me. Amazing how people now back down and listen to me. I refuse to be a pushover anymore. It is always troubling to have to go so long in life before you can undo the damage of being suppressed as a child. But also I have mellowed out and not let stuff worry me so much. More at peace now. The sky is really not falling after all, it is only temporary problems we have and we have survived all the other things we thought were dooms day problems. Yep, life is good, even if it is not perfect! Love your post.
This is a beautiful post Corrine. i loved the honesty. The world is very cruel.. If you are dare to speak the truth, u are looked upon something like a sinister. I have experienced this quite a many times. Face with some worst experiences during the atoz challenge, i never wanted to make any new friends or post in facebook. I ended up with wordpress as the community is amazing with like minded people who take so many efforts to encourage as well as correct . I love being there. I dont do any brands or neither am i interested in monetising my blog which is why i did not want to upgrade my wordpress. To me writing is a vent out and i am loving to write honest posts. Great and inspiring post to mark the end of the day.
You are right, one should stand up against injustice. You are brave to do so. I have to learn quite a few things from you.
Loved the honesty of the post and the fact that you have put yourself out there so bravely. I will be entering 40s soon. Will take a leaf or two out of your book and try to apply in my life. I am a people pleaser, it’s time I did something about it.
I could relate to every word that you have written here. I turned thirty six last year and decided to finally follow my passion. I gave up my corporate job and decided to spend more time with my toddler as I started writing again. I have barely made any money out of new profession in the last nine months but I have never been so happy with my decision.
Important to show upfor own life.I am trying to cut down on truths which don’t help anyone though.It’s confusing really.
It’s better to stand up for what you believe in rather than go through life with regrets . Age makes you see life differently and I think you lose inhibitions with the confidence you gain over the years.
I love everything about this post especially the part about speaking my truth and standing up for myself. You go, girl! Thanks for sharing.
Loved the blog Corinne…especially the part where it says “Working Towards My Dreams”…..A few days ago when I had taken my daughter to the park to play; I just sat down under the shade of a tree watching her run around playing.Surrounded by nature with its burst of flora and fauna, I sat back thinking how much I missed just sitting in solitude and silence. I sat visualizing the 15 years of my life I spent in working and what I had achieved or learnt during those years…one thing that struck me was did I actually achieve any of my dreams…it got me thinking of what I dreamt of doing and achieving when I started my professional life and what I dreamt and achieved in my personal life….professionally I did achieve what I wanted;to a certain extent….however in my quest to achieve my dreams professionally; I put my personal dreams on the back burner….Now that I am no longer tied down professionally (though maybe for a short time), it is moments like the day I was in the park;that helped remind me of what dreams I wanted to achieve at a personal level….One such dream was to pursue my art and to start a blog on it….and that is what I am working towards too….Your post has hit the right buttons in my case and it has come at a very apt time….thank you for your post….:)
I have been honest and I tell the truth as it is. But the more I went further with that the more problems I ended up in. Because the truth is bitter and they do not want to accept it.
Some experiences made me so bitter that I stopped talking altogether. This post pushes me to do what I feel is the right thing. Speak out the truth, stand for people and not keep mum when there is injustice happening.
Right now I am caught up with few things but most important ones. I feel so actually, dont know whether they are that important or otherwise. I am the sole fall back for my children and husband. And result is, I have to keep everything that is “me” on the back burner. It does bother me once in a while, but I assure my self that I am creating memories to cherish and life worth lived. Putting me first can wait as it is just round the corner!
Thanks for sharing, Corinne. I love the way you talk anout working towards my dreams. I too have been contemplating the same lately and I am thinking it is time to take the plunge, now. Inspiring words, these 🙂
Would love to know more about your dreams, Rashmi.