I wrote these reflections on starting a healing journey sometime at the beginning of the year, but didn’t publish them. With all that happened in August, I thought it made sense to share now.
Starting A Healing Journey
As I sit here, pen in hand, I feel a mixture of trepidation and hope welling up inside me. Today marks the beginning of my healing journey, a journey I’ve decided to embark on with an open heart and a willingness to confront the pain that has been lingering within me for far too long.
Looking back, I can see how I’ve been carrying the weight of past traumas and unresolved emotions. For years, I pushed these feelings aside, hoping they would magically disappear or become insignificant over time. But as days turned into weeks and weeks into years, the burden only grew heavier, and I knew I couldn’t keep avoiding it.
It’s not easy to admit that I need healing. For so long, I convinced myself that I was strong enough to handle anything that life threw my way. I built walls around my emotions, believing that vulnerability was a sign of weakness. But in reality, it was my avoidance that was weakening me, not my willingness to face the pain.
Today, I choose to break down those walls. I choose to embrace vulnerability, not as a sign of weakness, but as an act of courage. I’ve come to understand that healing isn’t about erasing the past or pretending it never happened; it’s about acknowledging the wounds and giving myself permission to feel and process the emotions that accompany them.
I know this journey won’t be easy. I expect there will be moments when I want to run away from the pain, to seek distractions, or to numb myself with temporary relief. But I’m determined to stay the course, to lean into discomfort, and to honor myself with the patience and self-compassion that I deserve.
I’m also aware that healing is not a linear path. There will be setbacks, moments of doubt, and times when I question whether I’m making any progress at all. But I’ve learned that every step, no matter how small, counts. Each moment of introspection, each conversation with a therapist or a trusted friend, every tear shed, and every moment of self-reflection is a step toward healing.
A Promise To Myself
As I embark on this journey, I promise to be gentle with myself. I won’t judge myself for feeling vulnerable or for taking the time I need to heal. I’ll remind myself that it’s okay to lean on others for support and that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Above all, I’ll remind myself that I am worthy of healing and happiness. I deserve to live a life that is not overshadowed by the pain of the past. Today, I choose to take the first step on this healing journey, knowing that with each step, I’m reclaiming my power and embracing the beautiful, flawed, and resilient person that I am.
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