My post birthday thoughts were written on paper on 10th August and I decided to share them today.
Post Birthday Thoughts
Sitting at the poolside of a holiday resort in Goa, I am distracted by the many sounds around me. And yet I am determined to write something today. I had planned to write every day of this holiday, but like so many of my good intentions, I didn’t see this through.
At the risk of repeating something that I’ve been mentioning for a while now, the past year has been one of great loss for me. I had thought that this birthday I would be able to move forward. But life always has other plans. We received shocking news of the prospect of losing another loved one. Yes, the Big C made an appearance all of a sudden. This makes it hard to move forward.
Another thing holding me back is when I see bad-intentioned – bordering on evil – people ‘winning’. This is something I really struggle with. The apparent victory of falsehood and shallowness over authenticity and truth hurts! Why do people seem to believe and follow what is false when the truth is staring them in the face? Is it easier to do? Are people not willing to pay the price of authenticity?
Let me get on to more pleasant things. Like the fact that my dear husband insisted that we go ahead with our holiday plans. He was determined that I have a peaceful birthday this year and I sure got one!
I was overwhelmed by the wishes and affection from so many people – some of whom I least expected to remember or wish me. Small gestures of affection go a long way to make me happy and I felt truly blessed.
My birthday was a good time to celebrate my husband’s unfailing love and concern for me. The kind of c*** I’ve put him through directly and indirectly over the last year, would have sent a lesser man running for the hills! If anything, these experiences have brought us closer as we have reassessed our values as individuals and as a couple.
Talking, reading, eating good food and resting have made this holiday a fantastic one. I can’t believe just how much we needed to sleep. Sleep, when not used an escape, can be a great healer.
As we get back to the ‘real’ world, I have much to look forward to – getting our two bundles of joy back home, moving house and starting to work in my new office. Most of all, I’m looking forward to creating a lot more.
If I was to choose a word for my birthday resolution it would be ‘allow’. I want to allow new experiences, new people, new ideas, new dreams in and allow all that doesn’t serve me to go out.
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