Flashbacks of similar situations kept cropping up. I wanted to stalk off. I wanted to yell. Sarcasm and meanness is what I wanted to bring into play. I wish I could say something stopped me from doing all of this. It didn’t. It was only on reflection later that evening that I realized that I had been bringing old energy into new situations.
Bringing Old Energy Into New Situations
We’ve all been there. We’ve all got emotional baggage, and it accompanies us into all our interactions. Having worked on ourselves, we think it’s resolved. But it’s an on going process of healing that we need to work at.
Old energy often what causes us to leave behind rational engagement and response, becoming over-stimulated about something trivial. We have an outburst, and yell at someone because we see her behaviour through the prism of an old hurtful situation.
If we are self-aware, our rational self eventually helps us to see things in perspective. We realize what made us flip the switch from irritation to anger, disagreement to judgment, self-acceptance to invalidation.
I’m glad I spent a few moments getting things into perspective, even though I had an unwarranted outburst. If we’re lucky, we can explain our outburst to the other person and hope that he or she still wants to be connected with us.
Here are some suggested steps from Psychology Today:
1. Notice your physical reaction to others. If your heart is pounding or you can’t sit still, your fear of getting hurt has been triggered. Recognise it as your fear, not something that someone else is doing to you. Simply becoming aware that these feelings are yours is empowering because you are both taking notice of them and able to choose what to do about them.
2. Notice how you feel. Do you feel like crying or storming out of the room? Do you feel like a child when you are in conflict with someone else? If so, you are trying to get your childhood needs met and you are probably doing so in childlike ways.
3. Take a deep breath. Step back from the situation. Realise you have a choice. You can respond to the person in front of you in the same way you responded in the past, out of fear, or you can respond to the present, as an adult, and leave your childhood fears behind.
We make mistakes. We act in irrational ways. Old energy new situations. It happens all the time. But we need to reflect and rewrite old scripts.
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