An old Polish proverb goes: Not my circus, not my monkeys! That’s now a chant I keep repeating to myself. Let me explain why.
I’m by nature, what you might call a drama-magnet. No, that’s quite different from a drama queen, thank you very much! So what’s a drama-magnet? I have, until recently, constantly been drawn into other people’s drama – either as the chief ‘sort-outer’ of their lives, or as the focus of their drama. Someday, I could make quite a few bucks if I told the stories I heard and was drawn into. But my lips are sealed.
I’ve realized the fact that people dumped on me, in one way or the other, was not their fault but mine. I have been giving off signals that I’m free to sort out problems and be dumped upon. Where did that come from? My own insecurities, no doubt. But I’ve learned the hard way, that you might stick your neck out for people, only to find that you are left being the ‘bad’ guy, while they come out smelling of roses!
With 50 just a year away, I’ve acquired some wisdom at last. It also helps that I have a husband who keeps me sane!
Now, if I find anyone trying to use me in this way, I politely tell them to sort out their own problems, while repeating to myself : not my circus, not my monkeys.
This works like a charm. Have you tried it?
Hi, Corinne! ~
Good motto to live by — I love this one!
I can’t claim to live a ‘boring’ life FREE of drama, but I’m much more on an even keel than I used to be! I think we’ve both grown a lot in the time we’ve known each other!
You must be really busy these days — Would love to catch up when you have time! Blessings! XOXO
Dangerous Linda recently posted..I know I am, but what are you?
Have you ever gotten into the middle of a dispute, subsequently taken sides, only to find both parties reconciled, leaving you with one enemy, and a former liaison, who felt compelled to toss you under the proverbial bus, in order to pacify the other?
Hey, it happens…
Myke Todd recently posted..Free Wally Peppers
“Not my circus,not my monkey”, is the best approach to life. No body gives the credit you deserve, to you. On the other hand you are termed ‘nosy poker.’
Absolutely right, Mrs Menon. Thanks for your comment.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..What Good Is Gratitude?
This has been my motto since few years and I’m very happy with this approach…Indeed my circle is not that wide, but the ones who are there are the real ones…
Thanks for sharing this lovely post and boosting my morale…
sheela recently posted..Remembering you…
Thank you, Sheela. You are wise! ♥
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Hope Springs
I usually don’t get involved .. I guess I learnt to say no quiet early..But yes there are times when I go overboard and at the end it is only me who suffers…
nabanita recently posted..Sailing through with Sheer Willpower
See, I knew you were a smart girl, Naba! ♥
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..What Good Is Gratitude?
I stopped getting involved in other people’s problems. Enough problems solved, enough examples learned 😛
I like that one – not my circus, not my monkeys 😀
Bhavya recently posted..The Third Stair
That’s a great motto to live by! Saves you from the unnecessary headaches and troubles!
Shilpa Garg recently posted..12 Most Annoying People on Facebook
Trying to recall where I heard that phrase before.
Great life-policy!
😀
Vidya Sury recently posted..Book Review Trouble Has A New Name by @adite
Count me in this dose of wisdom too. I took long time to conclude this as well. And well this has helped me make that great leap of faith towards happiness.
richa singh recently posted..Five fears on an uneventful Thursday
Though I do slip once in a blue moon, I’ve always followed “Not My Circus Not My Monkeys”. In Mumbai Hindi , it’s put more colourfully: “Mere baap ka kya jaata hai?” 🙂
Proactive Indian recently posted..WhatsApp, not WhatsCrap!