When life wants to teach you some lessons, it seems to always throw in your face declarations you’ve made. And almost every time these declarations include the words ‘Never’ and ‘Always’. For example, I swore I’d never marry someone based in Mumbai. Life had the last laugh, and the man I married is a Mumbaikar born and bred. Lucky for me, that he some 8 years into our marriage, he agreed to move cities. What I’ve learnt from this and a lot of similar lessons is – never say ‘never’ and never say ‘always’.
Never Say Never And Never Say Always
All of us have our notions about life and how it should be lived. We make rules for ourselves and sadly, even for other people. Our preconceived notions about people and their behaviour can often lead to us ending up as the losers for missing out on opportunities to learn and grow. It could also prove fatal as in this fable.
A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.
Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”
The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”
So the rowboat went on.
Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”
To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the motorboat went on.
Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”
To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”
So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.
Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”
To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat and a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”
Sometimes we get so stuck in what we can and cannot do, will or will not undertake that we become slaves to our own ‘nevers’ and ‘alwayses’. Openness is what leads to growth. The willingness to have our theories disproved is what makes us better human beings.
“I have no obligation to be who I used to be.” – Fumo Sasaki, Goodbye, Things
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“I have no obligation to the person who I used to be” is an interesting thought. While I am aware of ‘Never say never’ but ‘Never say always’ never crossed my mind. I get my lesson from this post. We are constantly evolving and the proof of it lies in our life’s journey. There were things we were sure we couldn’t do it or they were not for us or considered as our limitations and today we find ourselves having moved much ahead of those limitations. Therefore, the same applies to the present.
Such a thoughtful post which makes me think that I have been guilty of the same often. Set mindset takes a lot of effort on the part of the individual to change for better.
“I have no obligation to be who I used to be” what a thought provoking quote! Loved the post, Corinne. This post reflects my thoughts too. I always go with a nothing can be guaranteed in this life’ route. Never say never or always, but the truth is no one can ever leave this space without getting inspired. Never!
Superb write up and inspiring quote, I am absolutely agree with you that most of the time we make our own rules and follow them according to our comfort, and this attitude often becomes an obstacle in our own growth. I always learnt a lot while visiting your blog. thanks a lot for being such an amazing inspiration.
There is so much to learn from you Corinne. All your posts are so insightful. I agree we keep making rules for ourselves and for other too. I am guilty of doing that. You have given me a new perspective and I will try and follow this in my life.
Well a bit different thought. In some situation we are helpless but to say ‘never’ n ‘always’.
That’s such a powerful story on being open to the signs and to go with the flow. Never say never has been my motto – I didn’t even think of never say always, but it makes perfect sense!
Loved the words – “I have no obligation to the person who I used to be”. Your post made me to think deeper about the phrases “Never” & “Always”.
Just like Anamika, ‘never say always’ never crossed my mind. But yes as the quote you shared says we have no obligation to remain who we used to be. I think we tend to forget this and often become glued to some beliefs changing which might actually be good for us. This post made me think and I thank you for that.
I loved the lesson from this post. We change and so do our thoughts about various things. Such a good post and so much to absorb.