I’ve read this quote often, but only looked at it deeply today.
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.-Lao Tzu
How is loving deeply different from being loved deeply? The answer is obvious. You are the ‘giver’ in the first case and the ‘receiver’ in the other.
But what about one gives you ‘strength’ while the other gives you ‘courage’?
Now I’m puzzled. What’s the difference between strength and courage? There are subtle differences, I’m certain, but the dictionary doesn’t help much.
courage: the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.
strength: moral power, firmness, or courage.
Perhaps something was lost in the translation. Or am I missing the deeper meaning of this?
I’m not going to work myself up over solving this. I’m going to assume that Lao Tzu meant that loving and being loved gave you strength and courage. (If you know any different, do enlighten me.)
Loving and being loved. What would we be without love? In my opinion, there’s no better investment we can make in our own well-being than to love and be loved. Nothing brings us more happiness and peace.
But we often enter into relationships and then reach a dead end. The loving turns out to be one-sided. Sometimes both partners end up asking “What’s in it for me? Why should I continue?”
Different priorities. Unfulfilled expectations – sometimes unspoken too. Lies. Taking the other for granted. Constant fault-finding. A lack of respect. Cheating. Comparisons. Abuse. Neglect. Disinterest. All work to kill love.
People walk away and often that seems the brave thing to do. Most often people stay in relationships – unhealthy, clingy relationships. Relationships that suck the marrow out of our bones.
Why do we stay? Perhaps, we lack both the strength and courage that Lao Tzu associates with love.
But what if we don’t walk away? What if we stay and do the most courageous thing of all? Re-invent our way of relating to each other.
Stay – not because of societal pressure or for the sake of children – but because we want to give this relationship a fresh chance.
What if we started with a clean slate?
What if we admitted that we were wrong in the way we related to one another?
What if we changed our priorities and made the other our priority?
What if we looked to each other of strength and courage to start over?
What if we made space for healing and grace?
What if we gave love another chance? Will we allow love to bloom again?
Loving and being loved. It’s never easy. But worth us giving it our all.
Would you agree?
[Tweet “Loving and being loved. Never easy. But worth giving it our all.#FridayReflections #MidLifeLuv”]
Today I join Janine Ripper and Mackenzie Glanville and some other cool bloggers for #FridayReflections.
The writing prompts for this week’s Friday Reflections are:
What is your guilty pleasure?
Reflect on how exercise has made an impact on your life.
What motivates you to make positive changes in your life?
Reflect on the following quote:“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu”
I’m also joining the MidLifeLuv Link up hosted by Kimberly Montgomery of Fifty Jewels and Elena of Living With Batman
Agree to the points made on staying in an unheathy relationship. It doesn’t help personalities to grow.
I really admire what you have written here, you’ve done some deep thinking! I am going to share this with a friend who is struggling with trying to save a marriage and have the strength to not walk away from her husband. Beautifully written. And thanks for linking it up with us at Friday Reflections xx
Mackenzie Glanville (reflectionsfromme.com) recently posted..A time of change #Friday Reflections
All so true. I have been in the terrible position of having given my all but it not being enough. Then, we simply have to call it, mustering all our courage to do so.
Carol Cassara recently posted..A day of wine and roses
I’ve been there too, Carol. Not married, thankfully. I have no regrets for trying my best and then calling it quits.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Great Things
I agree. Sometimes the easiest thing to do is walk away; staying is more difficult. Staying, to me, means I have to look at what I’m doing. Leaving means I can blame the other person. Staying means I have to fix me. Leaving means I couldn’t fix the other person. This is beautiful Corinne!
Robyn recently posted..☼Summer of Fun☼ Activity 6
I totally agree. When you shift your focus from receiving love to giving love, you are amazed how it comes back two-fold. Thank you so much for linking to #MidLifeLuv.
Elena Peters recently posted..Are You Guilty Of This FaceBook Faux Pas?
I featured that quote this week on my blog, it has so much meaning for me. Thank you for joining us at #MidLifeLuv! We\’re very glad to feature you and this post.Kimberly
Kimberly recently posted..MidLifeLuv Link-Up: June 12, 2015
I saw that, Kimberly. Funnily enough it was one of the prompts for the #FridayReflections post too! Thank you.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Great Things
Corinne, this business of love is too complex a subject. Ultimately I concluded that life is really about the self and not to be measured by the state of relationships. I believe love exists. One can see it in the pure trust and innocence with which a child responds to a loving gesture or reaches for love. Adults now are a different matter because over time, love or rather the notion of it has got too tied-in with the ego. Having said that I can relate to what Lao Tzu is saying. When you know you are deeply loved, it gives you a security blanket to fall back on and that lends strength. When you love someone deeply, you have to find the courage to protect that someone much like a parent protects a child.
Lata recently posted..Santra Chacha
This is such a thoughtful and thought-provoking post! When we know that some one loves us, we are able to handle tougher situations easily and better. And when we love someone deeply, we know that our love will sustain us and that makes us confident and courageous 🙂
Shilpa Garg recently posted..Tough Times Refine You
You know your love for someone will sustain you and can help you face danger, deal with threatening situations, and sustain yourself against impossible odds. This is because with this love, you are emboldened and confident.
I definitely agree, although it took me many years to open myself up to being loved, and to love fully.
Janine recently posted..Have you ever wanted to escape?