Looking within, am I willing to even attempt that?
I said ‘attempt’ because it’s not always easy to do this. It’s so much easier to spend time on a whole lot of stuff that keeps me busy and prevents me from spending time with my soul.
What stops me from looking within? Am I afraid of what I’ll find out about myself? Am I afraid that I’ll have to take off the layers of masks that I’ve been putting on for different people and when the real me emerges, I won’t like her?
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. ~ Plato
Yes, perhaps I’m afraid of the light, the light that will reveal all the ‘dark’ parts of me – my biases and prejudices, the parts where I’m holding on to resentments like treasures, the parts that are holding on to old wounds that don’t want to be ‘aired’, the stuff that I’m ashamed to own up to, the jealous side, the part that is so self-satisfied and doesn’t want to grow, the pretences and the insincerity, the insecurities, the anger and the bitterness. Layers well hidden.
Only when I look inwards with honesty am I able to understand myself and my motives. Only then can I start the process of self-acceptance. And only then can I truly grow.
From time to time I do take courage and look within. And I wonder why I am afraid to do this more often. Because when I truly look within, besides all those ‘dark’ parts I mentioned, I also see someone who loves deeply and laughs much, someone who is grateful, someone who is thoughtful. Only when I look within do I see ‘me’!
PS: This post was first published as a guest post on a blog that has been shut down. Re-posting it today, because it seemed so relevant to me.
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Hi Corinne,
That was beautiful indeed 🙂
Yes, I think all of us have those hidden dark corners, and only few of us have the real courage to uncover the mask and show our real faces to the world. We all need that courage to look within and discover our true self before we try to do anything else.
Thanks for sharing. Hope you are doing well 🙂
Harleena Singh recently posted..8 Reasons Why Holiday Fun Recharge You
Thanks, Harleena. It does take courage and a whole lot of determination to stick to the process of finding what makes us who we are!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..To My Inner Critic
That’s so beautifully conveyed, Corinne!
Yes I feel it can do wonders to your sanity, to your mind when you are able to introspect your thoughts, when you’re able to look within you and acknowledge the real you 🙂
Thanks, Deeps. Introspection is so vital to growth of any kind – and yes, it sure keeps us sane!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..To My Inner Critic
It is such a beautiful and honest post! I too am going through this journey and loving every minute of it.
Glad you’re journeying inward too, Sulekha – more exciting than a trip to the moon, don’t you think? 😉
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Why I Write
Really touched on reading this : (
Its high time I too start looking in to myself even if I have to unmask !
LOVELY write up Corinne
Kudos
Afshan recently posted..Fukrey tickles the funny bone- A Movie review
I’m glad it made sense to you, Afshan. We all need to constantly journey inward – but try to avoid it, because it’s hard work sometimes!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Why I Write
I too, am afraid to look into myself. Not because I am scared to see all the darkness lurking inside, but out of the fear that there is nothing I can do about it. That is false right Corinne? We can work on it na?
Bhavya, I’m convinced that looking within is the only way forward and somehow God/the Universe provides us the resources we need to heal and/change. We can work on ourselves – that’s the purpose of our life!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Why I Write
Love your honesty and frankness. The first step is to acknowledgement. We all have our dark corners but most are wary of accepting.
I’m learning to be more and more authentic, Alka – I must tell you it’s not always easy. You’re so right, acknowledgement is the first step forward.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..You Only Live Once
That was a very honest post and very true. Looking withing is a very difficult task and something that I hate to do but its essential for self growth! Unless we look within, we cant figure out how we are faring on the course of our life. Are we sticking to our goals, are we on the path we want to walk on or have we deviated.
Ruchira recently posted..The Release
About it being difficult, you’re so right, Ruchira. This year I started out with an exercise that led to memories I didn’t realize existed in me and let me tell you, I gave up quickly, because I couldn’t face them. But now I’m back on course and healing and growing.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..To My Inner Critic
We can be as honest as we may want to be,but,at miles it is scary to look within for dark spots and accept those
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But there’s no getting aways from ourselves, is there, Mr Chowla?
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Why I Write
So practical and relevant. Thank you so much Corinne for capturing our fears to “look deeper”!!! Wishing you continued courage to constantly look within! xo
So aptly put. Many of us introspect but sometimes we skim the parts we are not comfortable with. We avoid them. You are right that it requires a lot of courage. And I think it is self-acceptance at its best when we can look at ourselves in the mirror, warts and all, and still love ourselves!
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Corinne this post is really wonderful!! Looking within is not only difficult but it is our own conscience which deters us. The dark corners are there deeply rooted within everyone. I really appreciate your determination to look within and realise your acceptance of the love hidden there which gives courage to face it bravely and ‘lovingly’. Thanks for sharing .
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We all have these not so pleasant traits Corinne. Acceptance, acknowledgement and addressing them is the key. This seasonal internal cleaning helps a lot 🙂
i SEE you! thank you for all that you are!!! XOXOXOX
Pretty deep. Dig a hole in the ground deep.
Joyce recently posted..Musical Monday: Don’t You Want Me
This was so beautiful but I am aware you already know that. So i will just thank you for sharing.
Adriana Boatwright ( recently posted..Guiding Light…
A very thought provoking post Corinne. So true that we are afraid to see what our inner self reveals but just as you say the “me” we find is simply wonderful. Venture inwards and discover yourself.
Suzy recently posted..The Long and Short of it
To look inside ourself I believe we need peace of mind and solitude. It is a tough task to do it as we are afraid to find the faults and the negatives that reside in us. It takes courage to look inside your psyche Corinne. Most times we are surrounded with so much noise which drowns out our thoughts.
Accepting ourselves completely with all our faults makes us confident.
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Lemme tell you, the ‘Me’ within you is indeed v v v beautiful!
What you’ve said here, Corinne, is true for all of us. Each one of us has those dark places within, but shining a light on what is good and honorable and noble within us helps us to stay positive and to let those characteristics be the ones to lead us forward and to grow us in the Lord. Remember, He has forgiven us the “bad” stuff and calls us to shine with His light!
Blessings to you!
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Thank you for sharing this beautiful post BS… when I read this, I was encouraged to go deeper. It is not an easy task nor a task taken in a hurry…
Yes, I do see those good things in me too now 🙂
Love you BS! You are wonderfully made!
melissa recently posted..Noli Foras Ire: Journey Inwards
As difficult it is, the process of looking inwards is rewarding. As a writer, I’m called upon to do it often, and it leads to some scary rides.
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We learn a lot as we go within ourselves Corinne but no better experience than a jarring external experience to make us go within:) Once the world around us changes or becomes unstable, we are more inspired to go within ourselves and come to grips with our inner world!
Nice post, Corrine.
Why keep any grudges from anyone and from self. One must be able to accept oneself as they are -with the good and the bad equally. We all have those dark places within, its only when we realize there is no point in depriving it of our inner light that we get the courage to face ourselves.
Thanks for the post 🙂
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–Corinne,
thought provoking post. I appreciate.
My “within” comes out thru my writing.
Sometimes I look back and exclaim, “WOW, I didn’t know that about myself!”
Xx
My Inner Chick recently posted..Murder, Therapy, & Walking Thru The Fire
This is a lovely post, Corinne. I love the fact that you also mentioned the positive parts of ourselves. Too many times when we look within we only look at the negative side to try and fix this. We should always remember to look at our brighter, lighter side too because it encourages us to do better and be better.
Anne recently posted..The Climb
If I don’t keep them under control, those dark corners are all that end up showing, even in the light of day. That doesn’t mean I do look within as often as I should; I don’t. It just means I’m ashamed of how outwardly horrible I can sometimes become. Maybe horrible isn’t the right word. Maybe it’s more tired. Stressed. Impatient. I need to start looking within more to find my peace so I can allow myself to love more fully.
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I am thinking now…I wonder how much I do that myself…I think I try but then do I really? What am I afraid of–shadows or just the discomfort of being so alone in a heart room with myself? Of strange noises and waves and a haunting unease…but I think I try and then I guess I shudder. Maybe that positive approach that you write about of seeing myself as a person in light may help…or would that be a way to avoid the shadow?
We must accept and embrace ourselves for what we are, warts and all! 🙂
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I loved this post corinne… the last few days, I have been attempting a journey in ward – and its not been easy, the reason being the discomfort that comes from within, accompanied with sadness, regrets, in adequacy, self pity etc…. yes ! it takes a lot of courage to look within. I liked the last few lines of seeing oneself ….. its so wonderful to know that light and darkness coexist…. light shines brightly in darkness. Thanks for inspiring me my friend, its always a pleasure for me to read your posts.
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Very relevant and useful post. As someone with a meaning of life blog I think about these things everyday with no conclusive answer. This is useful as sometimes the l=things we don’t like about other people are characteristics we don’t like about ourselves deep down. On the surface we don’t always know this. Thanks for reinforcing the information and your article was enjoyable to read.
Happy blogging!