Of late, I’ve become a little intolerant (not a good thing, I know!) of people who are always grumbling about how things are. The government is no good, too much corruption around, crime is increasing, the media is awful, the internet is not safe, schools are just not good enough. At any point in time, someone is giving them a hard time – their partners, their children, their parents, their in-laws, their employers, or employees….And they seem to revel in telling these stories of their pain and misfortune. Funnily enough, they find people who seemingly enjoy listening to such stuff and encourage them to spill it.
To be honest, I have, in the past, alternated between being the ‘grumbler’ and the ‘listener’. Until, one day, I just gave up on this.
Life Is Not Perfect! So What?
I’m not suggesting that we be superhuman in our ability to withstand pain. No, rather I’m suggesting that we put things in perspective. The moment you feel a grumble coming on, you stop yourself, look around and realize that there’s someone else out there whose suffering is much more than yours. That’s enough to get you to stop grumbling and be grateful.
Neither am I suggesting that that we should be insensitive of other people’s pain. But I do feel we must not encourage people to have a consistently negative mind-set. At some point, it’s our duty to point them in a positive direction or else refuse to participate any more in their grumble fest!
We all need to realize that the world we live in is imperfect – a reflection of our own imperfections. And cursing our fate is not going to change things. We can all strive to become better, we can work to improve the world we live.
We can work towards changing our world – but first, we must work towards changing our attitude. A positive attitude will make the world a better place for you and me!
What I actually ask you is to be aware and be patient with yourself… When you are, you become tolerant of other people and irritation fades away ;)…Take things lightly and allow yourself to rant at times :)…it’s okay as long as you know the roots of your feelings and reactions. Keep this harmony within you…
I wish you peace and joy 🙂
@melissatandoc:disqus – I do believe there’s a line between tolerance and allowing people to drain you of your energy. I’ve learnt that, at times, telling someone off and/or moving away from them, is the best thing you can do for yourself and the other person.
I agree with you. I know when I am in a dark place I have to stop, count to ten, sometimes a hundred, and change my mood from the inside out. It’s not easy and sometimes it takes me the entire day. It starts within and if we keep glowing we share this feeling with those around us. But we are human and therefore flawed. Some days we are grumpy and not giving. Breathe and start over.
@3e863f37c2ee2f2de5a55614a1c14002:disqus – I’ve learnt to switch off the dark moods too. They not good for me or those who live around me. And like you said, Brenda, our ‘glowing’ seems to pass itself on to others around. We all have bad days, but staying in a ‘permanent state of grumble’ is no way to live!
No. This is not something people know already. Some don’t, some pretend not to know it, and the rest of us need to be reminded… like this. You know… IN YOUR FACE kind of reminded. The way you’ve done in this post. Love you for writing this Corrinne. Hugzz… :))
@openid-42573:disqus – How did I know that you’d like this so much? Because, you are a star example of someone who has every reason to grumble and yet you don’t! Hugs back, Dagny.
i prefer positivity. if someone is going to grumble in my presence, including myself, they better follow it up with something they’re going to try to do to tackle the problem. otherwise, i cannot support the “grumble fest”.
@2ccfdabf0e12793388ff15c4032d8bb4:disqus – Right you are, Linda! Grumbling is tolerable if it leads us to find solutions.
100% agree. If there is one thing that we can control, it’s our attitude 😀
@google-ff421da76eb40d61a021b02f1052e141:disqus – And I just love yours 🙂
I agree with you but some days negativity just doesnt seem to get away from you because we are addicted to this feeling sorry for ourselves mode. Times like this I like to interact with positive thinking people. Another thought provoking beautifully written post Corrine
@google-7c04a3c7aa85123a82fb23d2b69990bf:disqus – Like you said we all feel sorry for ourselves from time to time and surrounding ourselves with the right people is a huge lift! Thanks for all your lovely comments, Rimly.
Great reflections. A few days ago I felt pretty weighed down by some burdens I’ve been dealing with. One of the best ways I’ve learned that can get me out of that slump is by praising God. By realizing His greatness and it keeps things in perspectives. Also, as you mentioned, by realizing how others have it far worse than me. Yes, sometimes what I am going through seems to be much worse than those who surround me, but yet if I look wider and further and have a broader perspective I will see many others around the world that struggle everyday just to survive. And that tends to cease my grumblings almost instantly! I’ve learned that by thanking God for the blessings that I do have at my moments of weakness, overshadows those things that are bothering me.
Blessings to you Corinne 🙂
@facebook-1285338429:disqus – I’m sure you read Merlin Carothers’ series of books on praise. You’re so right – the moment you dwell on the blessings the reason to grumble diminishes.
Love your view, Corinne! “At some point, it’s our duty to point them in a positive direction or else refuse to participate any more in their grumble fest!”
I think everyone needs their feelings to be acknowledged, but we don’t have to feed the flames of negativity. Even if it takes a little more energy to be positive, the impact we make on the world around us is worth the effort.
@twitter-59168528:disqus – I like what you say about acknowledging people but not encouraging them to be negative – very well put. Yes, the world needs us to be positive!
After reading this,I realized,am I one also? Or I may turn into one…No way..I can’t do this to myself..How come Corinne,u come in as a life saviour ..Thank u for this one.
You are NOT one, dear lady. But then all of us can lapse in to this at some point – so we have to be careful.
“grumble fest” is the perfect description! I admit to growing weary too of being in someone’s presence who always sees the half empty glass. And quite often I enjoy my own company better than others for this very reason 🙂 Because I know I’m not in the mood, ever, to attend a grumble fest. Excellent thoughts Corinne!
Dearest Debra – trust you to pick up on ‘grumble fest’ – I was quite tickled with my own phrase! I know exactly what you mean about preferring your own company – the grumblers can be a huge drain on our emotional energy.
Spot on Corinne. I think we really need to be positive and refrain from pointing fingers. I think that we need to look inwards and take out the good things rather than telling who is at fault. I feel we need to shoulder our responsibility as people and see where we faltered. Agree fully.