It’s just a week… A week since I lost the first man who loved me.
The one I could go to as a little girl and get anything I asked for
The one who I had wrapped around my little finger
The one man who carried my picture in his purse almost all through his life.
And yet, somewhere down the line we seemed to fall out of love with each other.
At some point I could never be the daughter he wanted
I was too outspoken, too loud and just too much for him to take.
He struggled with all of my choices
As I did with some of his
We were bound in our attempts to keep my Mother happy
And sometimes clashed because of this.
Our problem was that while I like to discuss situations and feelings threadbare
Resolve issues and move on,
His method was to act as if nothing happened
That classic ‘forgive and forget’ that never works for me.
In the last few months of his life, we seem to drift further apart
My presence seemed to cause him irritation and other things were at play too.
But God knew that in our hearts we loved each other fiercely and respected each other a lot
The last thing he said to me a week before he passed was to remember that he loved me.
The last thing I told him a couple of hours before he passed was that I loved him too.
In the end, all that matters is that we, in our own flawed way, loved each other.
In the end all that matters is that he was the only Dad I had, and I the only daughter he had.
Rest in peace, Dad.
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So sad to know about this, Corinne! My heartfelt condolences for your loss. I can imagine the mixed feelings and the sense of loss you are going through but at least you know in your heart of hearts what really mattered the most and that you and your dad both communicated that to each another! Time can heal some hurts but not all, I know that for sure. You know what, this too shall pass! Hugs for you, dear Corinne. <3
Thank you very much, Esha. I’m at peace with my parents. It’s been hard losing them both in the space of 7 months. Love conquers everything, doesn’t it?
Oh, Corinne, I’m so sorry for your loss.
This is a tender season for me as well, as I approach the first anniversary of my mum’s passing. We are walking familiar ground with many others.
Thankful for your honest sharing, here. Memories are always a mixture of the sweet and the painful.
Thank you very much, Michelle. Yes, I realize that I am not alone in my loss.
Just today I was going to write a similar post – on the loss of my father in law who passed away this Saturday. I wanted to write about him and his passing away. I’ve been married now for 36 years and we all lived together for a long time . So his absence will be felt.
I’m sorry to hear about your father-in-law, Sunita. My condolences to you, your husband and the extended family.
I am so sorry for your loss, Corinne. It’s been a hard couple of months – I can only imagine your pain. Sending you so much of love.
It has been, Shinjini. But you know that we never get more that we can bear. I’ve learnt a lot about myself and life during this time. Thank you for being around.
Sorry for the loss Corinne and hope you are coping with strength. I guess, the nature of relationships with our loved ones is quite complex. I listen and hear you.
Thank you, Vishal for your warm affection, always!
We’ve only interacted a couple of time on Twitter, but I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Thank you very much, Lydia. Very kind of you.
Very sorry to read about your loss. Losing a parent is such a hard part of life to deal with. Your poem is extremely touching. Sending you love and light.
Thank you very much, Kalpana. Hugs.
My deepest condolences Corinne. May his soul rest in peace. I can truly empathise with you. I had lost my father 2 years back, and the months that followed went by in a trance. It took me a while to pick myself up and get back to normal living. I so agree, we all are flawed, flawed with qualities that may drive another up the wall. Yet when it comes to a father and daughte relationship, there is a bond. Its a bond of unique love that would stay on for long!!
Thank you for your condolences, Ramya and for sharing your experiences. Having lost my Mom only 7 months ago, I’m learning that ‘down’ days are normal and that I should be easier on myself.
Hi, Corinne,
My deepest condolences to you. When the people who have brought us to this world are no more, we becomes kind of orphans. I have experienced that and it took a long time for me to come out of that loss. But, you will. Be strong and forgiving to yourself. I should say forgive and forget is the mantra to have harmony in a relationship.
Thank you very much, Prasanna.
Hugs, Corinne! I know it’s hard, way too hard having lost both the parents just a few months apart. I can only say to take your time and remember that we are here for you. Anything at all, please don’t hesitate to message or give a call. I am a good listener. When my dad passed away 7 years ago, all I wanted was to talk my heart out about him to my friends – the difficult times and good ones and to shed some tears. Only a couple of my friends lent their listening ears and I was devastated even more. Even yesterday I thought about my dad and was left with a heavy heart.
Please take care of yourself. Hugs. ❤️
Thank you so much, Vinitha. I’m so sorry to hear of the experience you had. I guess one never gets over the loss of your parents.