How Setting Boundaries Is Helping Me To Heal

Today, I want to share a piece of my personal journey, one that I believe can resonate with many of you. It’s all about the impact of setting boundaries on my healing.

One example of this, is choosing not to attend family functions, where in the past, I’ve experienced subtle sidelining or have had to answer questions that people had no business to ask. Initially, I thought I just had to attend (and dragged my poor husband along). Then I started to make excuses and apologize. Now I just refuse and don’t feel the need to explain myself. If I wish to meet some members of the family, I do so on my terms.

Letting toxicity and people who our toxic into my space is now a complete no-no in my life. Blocking on social media is relatively easier than doing so in person, but sadly, I’ve had to do that with my closest family. I’ve had enough of being gaslighted and made to look like a bad person.

Recognizing the Need for Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries has been a very important part of my own healing process.

I must acknowledge my role in shaping how others treat me. I understand that boundaries serve as essential filters, determining what is acceptable and unacceptable in my life. My boundaries are like protective shields, defining and safeguarding my identity. It’s crucial for me to establish clear and firm limits that others can honor and respect.

I’ll admit that, like many, I struggled to accept that boundaries were necessary. I used to fear that by setting them, I’d appear selfish or hurt those around me. But this mindset had to change. I realized that boundaries aren’t about pushing people away; they’re about creating a space where you can heal and grow.

Understanding My Limits

Setting boundaries begins with understanding your own limits. What are you comfortable with, and what crosses the line? Reflecting on my emotional needs helped me immensely to recognize and communicate my limits clearly.

Setting boundaries helps us spend our time and energy in the ways we want to and in ways that align with our values and principles.

Boundaries are about our own behavior, choices, and limits. We need to be proactive in setting our own boundaries. They’re about us, and what we are willing to engage in or tolerate. – Rachel Wright, MA, LMFT

Saying No Without Guilt

Perhaps one of the toughest lessons for me was learning to say “no” without the heavy burden of guilt. Saying “no” isn’t rejecting someone; it’s simply choosing yourself and your well-being. Overcoming that guilt was a significant milestone in my journey.

Consistency Is Key

I quickly realized that boundaries need consistency to be effective. You can’t set them once and expect them to hold forever. It’s an ongoing process of reaffirming your boundaries, and that’s something I had to learn along the way.

Self-Care and Self-Respect

Setting boundaries is essentially a form of self-care. It’s how I nurture my emotional well-being. By creating a safe and respectful space for myself, I allow the healing to take place. Setting boundaries is not selfish at all; it’s an act of self-love and self-preservation.

It became a powerful act of self-respect for me. It was a declaration to myself that my feelings and needs mattered. It’s a crucial step towards emotional healing and personal growth.

My personal journey has shown me that embracing the power of boundaries can be a transformative and liberating experience.

This is Day 3 of My 66-day Journey of Healing Through Writing and Sharing