I’m participating in the Write Tribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge through October and will be following the prompts suggested. I’ve also decided to focus on the theme of Anonymously Me – stories that people have shared with me and that we could all learn lessons from. Today’s story, Tiny Heart Prints was told to me in parts by a woman late 50s.
If you have a story you’d like to share anonymously on Everyday Gyaan, do contact me. You can be assured that I will keep your name and details confidential.
Tiny Heart Prints
Thank you for giving me this space to write. My story is always hard to tell and I haven’t shared it with anyone in years. However, I felt like writing it down, because I don’t want the story of my little girl to end with me.
I can still recall the day the doctor confirmed to my husband and I that we were pregnant. College sweethearts, we had waited to settle into our careers and get financially secure before we got pregnant. I can’t describe how excited we were. Our dream of having a family of our own was on it’s way to being fulfilled.
I had a fairly easy pregnancy. Our home was made ready for the arrival of our little angel, and our hearts even more open with love and welcome. We had decided not to find out the baby’s gender, so when our little bundle arrived, we were thrilled. Big eyes and lots of hair – that’s the first thing that struck me about my little, Celi.
And those big eyes seemed to grow with her, as did her curly hair. I know people will say that I am biased, but our little girl was truly an angel. Relatives, friends and neighbours would remark about her ready smile and her sunshiny ways. My husband and I would find every excuse to spend time with her. For two years, our happiness knew no bounds.
And then the changes began. Little by little, we noticed that all was not well with Celi. The little girl who was all over the place began to slow down. At first we thought she was exhausted. But then we noticed that her gait was changing. We also found that she didn’t answer us when we called. This started a round of tests and sheer torture for Celi – being poked and prodded and waiting for hours in hospitals began to take a toll on her spirit.
Finally, we had a diagnosis. A neurodegenerative disorder. One that would see her lose complete control over her movement. Loss of vision and hearing followed. Heartbroken and helpless, we did all we could to find treatments. We even put all our savings together to take her to the US for treatment. All to no avail.
I wish our story had another ending. But two years after the first diagnosis, Celi passed away peacefully. In those two years, she continued to smile when she could. She would reach out to touch us. She would love to be held close. She would rub her hands up and down my arms, as if soothing me when I would cry helplessly. Despite all she suffered, she continued to bring us joy.
My little Celi made me grow up in the four years she graced my life. She made me brave. She taught me the meaning of grace and gratitude. She taught me compassion and kindness. And most of all, she brought her father and me closer than ever before in love and friendship. Her tiny heart prints continue to touch out lives.
I’ve moved on so much in life since this story began, that I sometimes wonder what my little Celi will make of her mother now. I hope she’ll be proud of the woman I’ve become. Her spirit continues to push me forward to do and be more.
I love you, angel. Thank you for enriching my life.
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This was heartbreaking and I pray the parents find peace in their heart! I cant imagine how they must be coping with such a loss!!!
Many parents take children for granted. I feel grateful to God for having healthy children. My hugs to the mom in this post. My salute to her courage.
I don’t know what to say. I wish I could hug you because the pain you have gone through and are going through is unfathomable. I know you are so strong and brave but I wish you didn’t have to be. But I also know that Celi’s love will continue to be your rudder.
the bespectacled mother
It was heartbreaking to read the pain of this mother. Life gives lessons and opportunities for our growth. Some of them come via the difficult ways. One thing I am happy about is this mom did not turn into a bitter person but is grateful for the strength she has discovered within. I am sure Cell, wherever she is at present, her soul is happy and proud of this woman, who was her mother, here.
This is such a sad, tragic event. As parents, this would have been their most difficult phase. But it is good to know that they think of her in happy memories.
Heartbreaking story. The loss of a child is the hardest thing for a parent to go through. I pray that no parent should have to go through this.
This made me cry.I am sure Celine is watching over her mommy and very happy to see how she us sharing her story.Prayers.
That was so sad to read . Seeing ur child suffering and then saying her goodbye is the hardest part . Why God does it to little kids ?
Such a heartbreaking story. Can’t imagine what the parents had to go through. Makes us count our blessings. How often do we realise we are blessed only when we read others stories like these!
I can’t begin to fathom the pain of your loss, your bravery, your maturity. But I can tell you, that your Celi, learnig her story and crying with you over her, has made me a better mom. Wishing you and yours all the health and healing light you may need. Thank you. #mondaymusings xoxo
When it is so heart breaking to read and I cannot even imagine how would you have felt bearing that loss. Nevertheless its very brave of you that you chose to cherish each and every moment spent and learned to move forward.