I’m a person of contradictions. Who isn’t? So last week, I wrote about the need to have a positive outlook. But this week, I’m looking at why focusing on the bright side isn’t always good advice. I stand by both points of view!
Whether you’re reading a self help book or scrolling through your Instagram feed– you’ll find tonnes of advice and quotes revolving around positive thinking, and how you should try to focus on the bright side of your life as much as you can. The advice is sound and helpful no doubt, but it does come with its share of downsides as well.
Why Focusing on the Bright Side Isn’t Always Good Advice
Its Plain Denial
While looking at the bright side of everything does have its benefits, going overboard with it and not accepting the tough situations as they are is simply just being in denial. Stopping yourself from viewing things as what they are isn’t going to be helpful to you in any way. It’ll in fact, affect your mindset more negatively than you can imagine, because deep down, you know the problems are there, your situation is what it is- you just don’t want to accept it.
Acceptance is Healing
The first step to healing is acceptance, and if you can’t get there, you’re actually stuck. Most psychologists believe that a certain amount of criticism, pain, judgement and doubt is absolutely necessary, since it is with these things that comes the desire to bring about a change.
It is just how things work in this paradoxical life- to experience true happiness, you have to experience pain. To understand speech, you have to be fluent in silence.
Most of the time, the wrong in our life is there to serve us- it is there for a good reason- to make us change, or to help us see what can be changed, or to push us towards doing what we can to make things change.
We Lose Our Path
Focusing on the bright side of your life all the time can never bring you growth. If you’re always contented and happy with your life, and you don’t feel there’s anything wrong (even if there is), you won’t ever want to change anything, and that will stunt your growth as a person. You won’t ever want to turn into the best version of yourself if you don’t feel there’s anything flawed. If the fact that where you are doesn’t hurt you or cause you pain, you will never want to put in the effort to come out of the situation. Acknowledging the obstacles and hurdles will only encourage you to overcome them- as opposed to thinking ‘they aren’t there!’
Your ability to judge yourself, criticise yourself and pay attention to the ‘bad’ in your life is actually what helps drive you towards making change, and what pushes you towards improving and emerging victorious from your current situation.
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What you’ve put here is true Corinne. I am basically a negative thinker and I am proud about that. I’ll tell you why, not everyone accepts that things can go flawed. I think of the flaws first and get critical and then adapt the situation positively. This way I have less to lose. I’m not disappointed too much or affected by most things. Maybe I am wrong, but my life has taught me this for now. Earlier I was called by most friends as a positive person, but that was because I always saw the positive in the negative. Now I still do, but I just don’t want to overdo it like before.
Jayanthy G recently posted..Much Love Monday: Why I love to detangle Wind Chime Strings
I can see how experiences can turn one from being positive to negative, Jayanthy. Finding the balance is what is important.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Seeing The Light Through Rest #MondayMusings
I have been having a similar line of thought recently. People who always look at positive things are indeed living a life of denial. This is an apt post in today’s times of turmoil. I totally agree. We need to accept the bad and learn from the experience.
Yes, while it’s good to be positive, it’s even better to be authentic.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..3 Money Management Tips If You Have Bad Credit
Somehow we find grace (it’s given, I believe) to hold sorrow in one hand and joy in the other and to lament the bad without allowing it to destroy our gratitude for the good. It’s a balancing act, and one that we cannot accomplish without help and intentionality.
Michele Morin recently posted..What Will You Bring to Worship? – Sunday Scripture
That’s so true, Michele. Grace is need and authenticity is what is called for!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..The Art of Taking It Easy
This was such a good post. Like everything else in life, there needs to be a balance. 🙂
Lydia recently posted..Wednesday Weekly Blogging Challenge: A Strange or Useless Talent I Have
Balance is key!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Marketing Mistakes You Need To Avoid
Indeed life through rose coloured glasses can leave you myopic .you can’t always push things under the carpet …..
It’s a fine line between being negative and being authentic, isn’t it?
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Employee Appreciation Gift Suggestions For 2019
There needs to be a balance in introspection too like everything else. And I agree that healing begins with accepting the issue in the first place. Denial only creates more angst and self persecution like feelings.
Very thoughtful post Corinne-enjoyed reading and musing over it!!
Shalzmojo recently posted..#ThursdayTreeLove: Why is Kachnar also called the Camel’s foot tree?
We need a balance of both, to be able to see light in dark situations and to be able to understand our failure, shortcomings and improve on them. I agree that if we don’t see our flaws and improve them, we will not grow in life and truly achieve things we are capable of. But frankly I am not a fan of being overly critical. Isn’t life is too short to be unhappy?
Rajlakshmi recently posted..Batemans Bay, Australia | Photo Blog
I have to thank you, Corinne, for writing this because last week I wasn’t totally convinced. There are 2 sides of the coin and so does life which can have, I think, even more than 2 sides and shades. I hate to say this but what people (mainly bloggers) tell write 3 or 5 points in your gratitude diary everyday and you will feel lightened up is crap. Because, when there is hopelessness and pain in the head, it ceases to recognise a single gratitude point worth opening the journal and writing it then. It appears to be pointless. Everything appears to be pointless. Hence, it is reassuring to read your take about the other side of positivity. It feels real.
Anamika Agnihotri recently posted..Why be smart? #BookBytes 11
Good points, Corinne! It’s best to be a realist and deal with your problems effectively, but you can still put everything into perspective. 🙂
Debbie D. recently posted..ADVENTURES IN DOGSITTING; CHAPTER NINE #AmWriting