My Fathers Day Grievance List
Dearest Dad
Today is Father’s Day and I haven’t wished you, yet. This is a strange kind of ‘letter’ to write on a day like this, but like I said, I’m not really sure about the ‘specialness’ of Father’s Day. However, what this day made me resolve to share with you the list of grievances I have against you.
Grievance Number 1 – Being Taken For Granted
How’s that your fault, you wonder? Well, the fact is that you’re always there when people need you. I lose count of the number of people who’ve been at the receiving end of your support and assistance. You’ve provided for and taken on loads of people who need (and some who don’t need – but just take advantage!!!) your advice and your help. Perhaps, the fact that you’re always asking people how you can help them, makes it difficult for them to say ‘no’?
So it would help, if (sometimes) you sat back. Let other people reach out to those in need. And allow those who just act helpless to learn to take care of themselves! The fact that being taken for granted sometimes causes you to feel upset, leads me to….
Grievance Number 2 – Not Sharing Your Pain
Yes, that’s a big negative in your nature. I’ve learnt, from my inclination to bottle pain, that it doesn’t work. No, it is not stoical to take whatever comes on the chin. There’s a time and a place for that. But there’s also a time and a place and persons you must unburden yourself to. You must learn to tell people when they’ve hurt you. Don’t tell me it’s too late for an old dog (an 85 year old!) to learn new tricks. You’re the same person who picked up how to use the computer at 82 – so you can and must learn to tell us when you’re hurt or angry or upset. I’ve learnt to do this and though my outbursts may not always be ‘nice’ (and certainly not palatable to you), they make me feel better about myself, about others and about life.
Grievance Number 3 – The Way I am
I’m sure you had a lot of dreams about the way you wanted me to turn out. I’m pretty sure that I haven’t lived up to some of those dreams. I’m definitely not a soft-spoken and gentle-natured woman – but then who is to blame for me being opinionated and strong? You!
- Yes, by allowing me to have my own opinion and giving me space to express it – you encouraged me to speak my mind.
- By letting me take my own decisions, watching me make mistakes and letting me learn from them, you encouraged me to strong.
- By not treating me any different from my brothers, you taught me to be a believer in equal rights.
Okay – so Number 3 isn’t really a grievance, but I thought it was important to say these things.
So Dad, this Father’s Day, please resolve to treat yourself well – and do retire, finally! Put your feet up, let go of all those things you ‘need to do’ for other people – they’ll survive, I promise. And read all those books waiting to be read, watch all those movies you’ve wanted to and listen to all that music you enjoy!
Your daughter (aren’t you glad you had just one? 😉 )
PS: You’re the person I seem to take for granted the most. I don’t mean to be this way, I guess I’ve just fallen in to the habit, as have a lot of people in your life. The occasional word of appreciation or birthday wishes are not enough to tell you just how much you mean to me and my grateful thanks for all you have done and continue to do for me.
Hey Corinne,
Nice Post.Liked Point #3. Not all dreams of parents' will be realized when it comes to their kids.But I think the best ones know to encourage the detours 😉
I guess these 'days' are indeed inventions of Archies/Hallmarks of the world.
Do we need a 'day' to remember parents?
so very trur corinne!! 🙂
Beautiful Corinne!! What a lovely way to wish your dad!
This is so touching! I hope to write a letter just like this to my father one day too. He passed away 10 years ago and there are really a lot of things I also want to tell him.
There is so much many of us can identify in what you have so beautifully described.
@ Vivek – Truly well said – the best ones are those that encourage the detours.. Let's say mine didn't stop me 🙂
@ Sashu – How have you been? You've been missed – am blogrolling your WP blog.
@ IHM – Praise from you is always taken seriously 🙂
@ Mayje – Thanks for visiting. Would love to read your post to your Dad. Your creations are very pretty.
@ Anil – Thanks for the visit. Your series on the Mumbai readers is fab.
This was such a sweet letter. Sometimes kids can teach their parents a thing or two about looking out for themselves.
Thanks, Tulika.
Oh yes, but do they ever learn? 😉
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..To Be A Wildflower #MondayMusings
Never ever :-).
Like father, like daughter, it seems! 😀 Yes, we often do take our loved ones for granted. These special days serves as reminders, I suppose, but agree that mostly, they are for commercial purposes. We should celebrate special people all year ’round. Loved the photos, Corinne especially the last one. You have a beautiful smile!
Thanks, Debbie. We don’t celebrate the ‘Hallmark holidays’ in our family, but I wrote that post a while back.
The last two photographs are from my wedding.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..To Be A Wildflower #MondayMusings
I hadn’t noticed the date. You were a lovely bride! 🙂
Debbie D recently posted..INTRODUCING AUTHOR ANGELIKA SCHWARZ
Thanks, Debbie!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..To Be A Wildflower #MondayMusings
Absolutely loved this letter, Corinne. Well, I also have the same grievance with my dad. Being always there for people who take him for granted and I think I have got this trait from him. Apple doesn’t fall far from its tree.
Parul Thakur recently posted..Your Dreams #MicroblogMondays
Thanks, Parul. I worked my way out of being that way. I’ve come to believe that it’s not too good for us to allow people to take us for granted. 🙂
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..To Be A Wildflower #MondayMusings
Did he read it then? And did he take your ‘advice’? Daughters can get away with a lot, saying all kinds of things to parents. And even if it’s unpalatable, parents take it with no rancour whatsoever. Of course, it’s another matter that they may not abide by the ‘advice’ that kids, in their know-it-allness give to seasoned experts like them ! 🙂 I know mine didn’t !
He did and didn’t comment, Vibha. And nothing has changed! Thanks for stopping by here.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..To Be A Wildflower #MondayMusings
Your Dad sounds fantastic and the best Dads usually exhibit these 3 characteristics (yes, even allowing their daughters to become opinionated.) There must be some type of Dad code that they follow. Love the pictures of you and your Dad and what I can see–love for each other.
What a beautiful tribute!! I didn’t quite know what to expect and of course that’s the beauty of your writing.
Thanks for sharing a piece of your father with us.
Frances