They’ve been coming on for some days now. Feelings of unease, lethargy and discontent. Something I can’t put my finger on. Unhappy with myself – who I am, what I’m doing.
Nothing really sets them off. At one level, I’m oversensitive to how people behave towards me during this time, and at another I couldn’t care less about anyone else! (There, I said it!)
I start to wonder about the meaning of life and if I’ve made a difference to any one at all.
I begin to feel that I need to start all over again. To re-invent myself, perhaps.
The overall feeling is one of disinterest in all I do.
Oh yes, in spite of all the positive posts here, the self-acceptance ones, the happiness ones, the inspirational ones, the gratitude posts, there are days I still feel this way.
Do these feelings negate all the positive stuff I write? I think not.
They are a part of who I am. I have finally learned to own these feelings. To accept that they will come. To talk about them. And now to write about them.
I’ve learned not try and change the way I feel during such times. But to just wallow in these feelings knowing that this too shall pass.
I’ve learned to be aware and present to my feelings during this time. I no longer despair. I cannot control the dark days, but I can be open to what they teach me about myself and about life. This too is self-acceptance.
Dark days. They help me appreciate the many, many bright ones.
“it’s not about controlling. it’s about being present. being open, being aware – and allowing it to come.” Terri St. Cloud
Do you experience similar times?
Proud to be linking to Hasty Words’ #BeReal Campaign. Write a ‘real’ post and join the #BeReal campaign.
Wow! What a scary challenge – to strip ourselves naked and show our flaws and frailties. I will have to ponder this one. I admire your bravery in exposing your underbelly. Thanks for the challenge Corrine- still pondering…. Pauline – The TurtleQueen
Pauline Mansfield recently posted..“SONGS OF A FATHER” An Unexpected Journey of Discovery
Ah yes, it took me a couple of days to decide whether to share, Pauline. I’m glad I did!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Making A Paradigm Shift
Dark days descend at all doors
We welcome them unawares
Their fascination soon wears off
Wiped off by positive pods
That awaken awareness, illuminate darkness!
Thank you, Balroop. Fits in so well!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Success Or Happiness?
It took many many years to believe that my bouts of depression were just temporary states.
The saying which you used “this too shall pass” helped me gain trust in myself. Just as those moments of joy, will pass, the same applies to sadness. This I know to be a truth.
My sadness has given me strength.
Sadness has a voice and it sits next to joy, both of equal stature.
Nina recently posted..Perfect Reject now in the Crowell library
Thanks for sharing, Nina. Funny, how we are uncomfortable with these feelings, until we conscioulsy learn to accept them as part of ourselves. When we do, everything fits in.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Accepting Grace #MondayMusings #1000Speak
Hi Corinne – I agree that we all have dark days and we can’t always expect sunshine and rainbows. I think the deciding factor is whether these dark days pass or whether they start to take over our lives – that’s when we need to start treating them differently. Great post ~ Leanne
You’re absolutely right, Leanne. We have to know the difference and should take action if the feelings continue!
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..The Power Of No
Corinne, if life was all happiness and contentment, there would be no progress
Lata recently posted..A mind to be cherished!
The phase that you’re writing about.. ditto is the thing that is going on with me! Every single day, I open my laptop to start writing something and I end up browsing other blogs or websites.. As much as I hate this phase, it also helps me ponder over the good things, good times, good times.. with the ray of hope,
This too shall pass..
It takes courage to jot it all down.. it will all be over soon 🙂
Keep Smiling 🙂
Geets recently posted..Kids today- One step ahead!
I can totally relate, and in fact have been going through something similar lately. This too shall pass.
Laurel Regan recently posted..Photo Friday: Summer
Dark days are very real; not easy to accept this feeling, because of the label I carry ( which are all very positive) and I prefer not to expose this part of myself as this makes me very vulnerable….agree with you .. in fact accepting this makes me humane and in a sense also gives an inner freedom to be who I am.. thanks for sharing !
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for having the courage to write this. Although I find it sad that you have to be considered courageous to share your not-so-happy-moments in blog world I guess that’s just the way it is. I’ve recently been going thru a very difficult period in my life. Big changes in the works, going off of medication and starting a new one that we weren’t sure was right for me and finally coming to the realization that it doesn’t make me weak to admit that I need to be on anti-anxiety medication. My doctor thinks it’s hormonal. I’m 48 and I’m just starting to have subtle symptoms of peri-menopause. My brain has been going thru changes and I hate it. Vertigo this past week hasn’t helped and I’m honestly tired of hearing myself say I don’t feel well. I’ve been in a very dark place but feel like I’ve come thru the other side of the dark tunnel I’ve felt trapped in. It’s really given me so much more compassion for people suffering with mental issues. I can only describe it as feeling a sense of hopelessness and fear. Thank God for my husband who has been so good thru the last couple of months!! I could write about this for hours but I’ll stop here by saying it’s a beautiful day today and I’m happy to be smiling again!!!!! xoxo~ Wendy
Wendy McDonagh-Valentine recently posted..Sunday Sayings . . .
I really like this idea of a ” be real ” post. You’ re always so positive Corinne, who would have thought that like the rest of us you’re subject to darkness. But then sadness and discomfort are as much a part of life as winter and they have their own beauty. Remember winter always turns to spring.
I’d lie if I say that such thing don’t bother. Of course it does but still making effort to appreciate good things and other people kindness.