Welcome to the Blog Hop – Comparison The Thief of Joy? where bloggers from all over the world are invited to share their ideas about Theodore Roosevelt’s quote: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Do you agree of disagree with Teddy’s POV? Please share your unique perspective.
There are 3 easy steps to join the Blog Hop:
1. Follow the instructions for submitting your entry using the Linky provided below – remember to copy and paste the link to your specific ‘comparison’ post, not just your blog, into the Linky.
2. Copy and paste the following announcement (with links) into the intro to your blog post:
Linking in to the Comparison Blog Hop on Dangerous Linda and Everyday Gyaan.
3. Be sure to read and comment on other bloggers’ posts in the hop. It’s a great way to get to know each other and expand our cyber-community of awesome writers and thinkers.
Comparison The Thief of Joy
If you’re unlucky, it starts even before you’re born. “My last pregnancy was so much easier”, mourns the mother. Or if you’re her first child, “But my sister didn’t get this sick. This baby is giving me a hard time.”
Then you are born. And they come in droves to see you. “Oh my doesn’t she look just like Cousin Anabelle.” “No, no can’t you see her nose is just like Grandma Nancy’s!” “Fourteen hours of labor? You didn’t have to wait so long with Terry, did you?” “He keeps you up all night? My baby sleeps like an angel at night.” If there are no siblings or cousins to compare you with there’s always Dr Spock‘s babies who can be used as a yardstick for your growth or lack of it.
You start to grow. “Lola stop fidgeting. Can’t you see how quietly your brother is sitting?” “Anirudh, you really should stop drinking milk from a bottle. Look at your cousin Satish. He’s only three and he drinks from a cup.”
Now comes school and with it a whole new set of children to compare you with. “You got 73/100 for your test? Shame on you – see how well Mrs Choudhary’s daughter does.” “Why do I keep getting complaints about you from the teacher? Mala’s teachers always praise her.” Even the teachers get into the act. “You’re Nalini’s cousin? She was an angel, you’re a devil!”
After a while you learn to start doing it to yourself. You are constantly measuring your height against your sister’s. You improve your grades in school, but you’re not happy because you wish you had the same grades as your friend, Sharon. You gradually start skipping meals because you want to lose weight so you can look like Andrea. You start to work out at the gym, pushing yourself to exhaustion, because you want to develop muscles to look just like Salman Khan!
You stop feeling good about the way you look, because you wish you looked like a movie star. You stop trying to work on your talents, because you’ll never be as good as…..You stop enjoying achievements because you’re always wishing you had done better than your friend. You want to be better dressed than……. You want to be richer than……. You want to travel more than………. You want to sing just like……. You forget that all you have to be the best YOU. It goes on and on. The cycle of comparison….
Is comparison the thief of joy? Need I say more?
Now I’m off to see Dangerous Linda’s post on the subject, so I can compare 😉 (I’m also linking in to Blogelina today.)
May you be inspired – every day!
I was in that bandwagon too…when my daughter was born…my sisters-in-law had also given birth to girls…all of them a few months apart and the comparisons just flew….then finally stopped when we realized that it was futile.
When we are teenagers, i think it is the peer pressure to conform and be accepted that makes us compare.
Comparison does robs you of your joy…you only learn it the hard way.
I can’t find Linda’s post.
Oh how we love to make comparisons between babies – glad you gave it up soon.
The teen years were hard enough for us. I can see that it’s just got harder for youngsters these days with television and social media to add to it! Linda’s post acted up very briefly, but it’s there now 🙂
Waiting for your post, Janaki.
YaY — We did it! Probably not the smoothest blog hop opening in the cyber-world so far… but… oh …wait! We don’t have to compare ourselves with others? Let’s just say we’re AMAZING then, right? And so it is!!! Thank you for all that you are, Corinne! XOXOX
Oh yes, we did it. Not smooth – but that’s what adds to the excitement. I’m so happy with the response, Linda. Thank you, pardner 😉
What you say is so true and harsh, you’ll find I agree with both you and Linda, I am just as confused as ever…lol <3
@6185e7ca159a8318789653f1fed9195f:disqus your post was not confused at all ♥
too have had the experience of being compared, and somehow unconsciously I too
compared my daughter with my son who was a down syndrome child, it was so easy
for my daughter to do everything on time, for my son it was a challenge, as a
mother I found difficult to bring in balance to help both of them grow.
had to constantly justify my actions to my daughter. Now that my son is no
more, my daughter Dorothy still compares herself with my son Emmanuel, and I keep
reminding her how lovable and precious she is and not to compare herself with
definitely robs the joy from our lives, I found whenever I compared myself with
others, I became sad and unhappy, and whenever I looked into myself and what I have
to offer, I am filled with gratitude !
I’m sure it was hard not to compare and for Dorothy too, she must have constantly felt that Emmanuel was getting all the attention, as much as you tried to be fair to her. But I think you managed well, because she was so protective and caring about him.
All that said above is true but ‘bad’ co-exists with ‘good’ in this case. Sometimes comparison can make you do better. Its all how you take it I guess. In the case of children though – I think it really is the thief of joy.
I agree, @fd9379004a62d00f5f54f6e68706e9d8:disqus . We were taking ‘sides’ on the issue and hence I took this side. Yes, children do find it difficult to take comparison and that’s only natura.
I grew up being constantly compared to my older sister. It probably wouldn’t have been bad if we had actually had more in common, but we were like day and night. I try very hard now, having my own children, to leave the comparisons at the door ☺
Ah, Mary…one of the few times I’m grateful I didn’t have a sister 😉 I had two brothers who were older, so it was not bad at all. Thanks for your fabulous post on the topic ♥
Don’t like being compared in any shape or form. I have seen friendships and relationships being destroyed because of this. One can learn so much from our individualism
I know comparisons can lead to a lot of problems in relationships @6bada2ad50e9345e54a86ccb672a7a12:disqus ….Thanks for sharing your views in your post.
Corinne, we really do ourselves an injustice by comparing ourselves with others. Love your thoughts on this touchy subject. I think you and Linda have chosen a wonderful topic and best of luck for the blog hop.
@99051b0b74a64b517f5b3e296f8ffcdd:disqus – We do that all the time don’t we? I like your philosophy that you talked about in your post!
Wow Corinne, you covered so much here. It’s so true about comparisons, not only thief of joy but giver of grief.
I hope to write something for the blog hop soon.
Hugs to you.
I had to take a side on it, @fc9207346ed3beae16947fde8b2511b3:disqus But as others have pointed out there’s a good side to comparison if we know how to use it. Loved your post – it was so unique. ♥
Corinne, I’m with you, sister. I believe comparison is detrimental to our feeling satisfied and content with what we have or how we are. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re likely to find differences that usually cause us to feel insecure and sad. I find this also leads to us feeling inadequate and incapable of measuring up to the achievements of others. It’s not to say we have to ban comparison from our lives, but surely it’s something to be avoided when it leaves us feeling like we’re not good enough. I love the idea of a blog hop on this subject! 🙂
@b5cdf907b62a9caa484ca317cc739b3b:disqus I think what is done to us, becomes something we do to ourselves as we go on in life. I guess we can call it ‘negative’ comparison and ‘positive’ comparison. I’m so happy that you took part in the blog hop, Bella. As always, you have such a wonderfully unique perspective on things. ♥
We are on the same wave length Corinne, as my conversation
is grades too – though you cover much more ground here than I. When will we ever realize (as a society) that each person is uniquely made?
I see plain and simple
that you agree that comparison IS the thief of joy.
@google-3d38cb7d9d9e35f57bf9da55324ae303:disqus – I loved how you connected this with education and grades. That is a big issue in India. Young people actually commit suicide over poor grades and the thought of bringing disrepute to their family because of all the comparisons 🙁
Your right we are constantly judging ourselves by how well another ..does, looks etc..we are constantly fighting a race instead of excepting who we are,,,rather sad..i wonder how long it will take for mankind to stop running that race and just sit and be happy with themselves….As always ,…XOXOXOXO
@twitter-209308643:disqus – it is an endless pursuit trying to keep up with the Joneses.
I haven’t got a post for the blog hop. I’m taking a breather from doing staff appraisals to add my two cents.
We are all imperfect humans and as much as we might try to deny it, we all do comparisons of some sort. Comparison is & can be the thief of joy only if we let it. We were all created equal, but individual. Just think of how boring life would be if we were all the same. We should embrace our uniqueness for being different. I am happy & comfortable being me…the incomparable…the original & handsome poet. LOL! Enjoyed your post. Back to work for me. 🙁
Thanks for sharing. I’ll try to read the others when I can.
@5c72e9bb39037dc70461da44fd31e577:disqus I’m not even going to compare myself to you 😉 But you’re right comparison will rob us of joy if we let it. Time for us to embrace our uniqueness and revel in it.
It can go either way, I think, considering the personalities involved. I think it’s inspiring, while someone else may be envious.
So true, @146cc92d8056697cd7864f80437aacbd:disqus – it all depends on how we use comparison. Thanks for dropping by – much appreciated.
Corinne I feel like you’re telling about my story. I learned so much from my own personal experience. And if one day I get married and have kids, I’ll do my best not to compare them to others and allow their individual selves to blossom.
Thank you so much for the wonderful opportunity to share my own views on this subject matter. And thank you for your kind words on my post. 🙂
@c287b3672674d28d3a5b4cd2c6cd270c:disqus – thank you for your most authentic sharing in your post on the hop. I can see how negative comparison cost you a lot. We must allow everyone to be themselves, mustn’t we? 🙂
Your description is so true. You tell it in a funny way. I remembered every time they used to tell me i was a true copy of my grand mother, how i used too be upset and cry. Now i can see it as a compliment as she was a beautiful lady, but a child can’t really understand that!
Parents who compare their children to others create jealousy, but it is even worst when they compare their child with what they were at the same age, because at that point, they are destroying the child’s self confidence. A child always want to please his parents, he can compete with a friend or a brother, but he can’t compete with what his father was many years ago.
@5a574457eaecfb2fc0a9b161a9871273:disqus I can see why a child wouldn’t like to be compared to an adult. And oh yes, some adults love to tell tall tales of their many achievements when they were their child’s age. As you said, no one can compete with a memory 😉
Hi, Corinne. I firmly believe comparison can suck the life right out of you.
If we allow it to, it can @thewahwife:disqus
I like to compare things but not in a negative way.
I understand, @0ca165d636a387c1a603bda3d87f8075:disqus . Thanks for dropping by.
I’ve never compared my kids to each other – at least not out loud. They are so very different.
I’m so glad when Moms do that. Thanks for stopping by, @google-5124c9fcebeb4dd07ba8d646d5f86372:disqus
Never a Dull Day in Poland
I have been blessed to live in 5 different countries in the last 20 years so I have compared our lives to others from around the world and well, us in the USA do not know how good we have it!
Ah that’s so true, @openid-129939:disqus …I live in India and it’s not easy to take things for granted when you see poverty staring you in the face.
It is so true isn’t it? my post is similar, although more related to money. When we compare our lives we can never be content.
I loved your post @fc910175fc8418317beb6d5af95c2259:disqus and the choices you are making.
I got your point Corinne. I was looking at your image of twins and even with that image, I could understand your point. However, we focus so much on the act of comparing that it becomes a thief of joy. I do believe it has good points. At the other side, I understand how human psyche work the way you have described it. It could exhaust one’s energy on trying to keep up or be like someone…
Thanks for the reflections you shared here.
@melissatandoc:disqus Thank you for your lovely and most unique post that you shared on this hop. Yes, comparison can be for good, if we want it to be so.
When you put it that way, I think you are right, comparison is the thief of joy. I didn’t really compare my children to each other because my oldest had Down Syndrome, so we took it for granted that he would be unique in his own way. It definitely allowed for us to enjoy his milestones as they took significantly longer than for our second born. Thanks for the food for thought, Corinne.
@f404935938e38d51edf6da24edf90d03:disqus this is just one way of looking at it. And I can see why it was so hard for you to compare your children. If you look further up the comments you’ll see a mom (@befa2dfeef799a6c6ca6f97264045c68:disqus ) who had the same issues.
Love the baby pictures so cute