Braving To Trust
Love and Relationships -  My 66-day Journey of Healing Through Writing and Sharing


When one is recovering from emotional wounds, trusting others again is can be very difficult. I’ve been struggling with this and I’m trying to find a balance between being naive and trusting others to build relationships. Although I haven’t read Brené Brown‘s ‘Rising Strong’, I came across something from the book has given me inspiration to start braving to trust again.

Brené quotes Charles Feltman, author of The Thin Book of Trust, who describes trust as “choosing to risk making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.” Meanwhile, distrust is deciding that “what is important to me is not safe with this person in this situation (or any situation).”

While the exploration of trust and the cultivation of self-trust may seem elusive, Brené Brown provides clarity by offering a mnemonic. This mnemonic serves as a practical checklist, encapsulating the essential elements that shape our trust levels in relationships—both with others and within ourselves.


BBoundaries are like barriers that help us let good things into our lives while keeping the bad things out. These “things” can include people, experiences, information, emotions, and more.

RReliability is about doing what we say we’ll do, when we say we’ll do it. It’s also about being aware of our strengths and limitations and acting accordingly.

AAccountability means taking responsibility for our behavior, including making amends when we make mistakes.

VVault – this is like boundaries but has its own importance. It’s about not sharing experiences that aren’t ours to share. This means avoiding gossip, showing empathy for others, and steering clear of drama-driven situations.

IIntegrity is when our actions match our words, and we live by our values instead of just talking about them. Brené Brown adds the idea of “choosing courage over comfort”.

NNon-Judgment is the ability to express our needs and feelings without fear of being judged, and it goes both ways for others.

GGenerosity involves giving others the benefit of the doubt, assuming the best intentions behind their words and actions.

BRAVING and Self-Trust

As Brené explains, the mnemonic can be applied to self-trust too.

B – Did I respect my own boundaries? Was I clear about what’s okay and what’s not okay?
R—Was I reliable? Did I do what I said I was going to do?
A—Did I hold myself accountable?
V—Did I respect the vault and share accordingly?
I—Did I act from my integrity?
N—Did I ask for what I needed? Was I nonjudgemental about needing help?
G—Was I generous towards myself?”

I’m finding this particularly useful to review how 2023 went for me.

This is Day 61  of My 66-day Journey of Healing Through Writing and Sharing.

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An inspirational writer, a creativity and writing trainer/coach, I write about life, gratitude, healing, wellness, relationships at Everyday Gyaan. I offer training/coaching to anyone looking to explore their creativity and heal through writing via The Frangipani Creative, located in Secunderabad, India. You can also find me on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Sign up for my weekly newsletter, Bytes of Gyaan, on Substack.

2 Comments on “BRAVING To Trust

  1. Very relevant in today’s relationships, wrought mostly against a backdrop of chat. Such communication needs more clarity with it’s lacking the element of directness or face to face encounter.

    1. I think the important thing is for us to be trustworthy too. When we are transactional in our communications – then there is no depth or joy. Connecting with people only because we want something rather than just enjoying their presence is no basis for any kind of relationship – whether online or off!

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