The other day I attended a training programme after quite a while. I’ve been internalizing some of the learning and thinking about a lot of things. One of the questions we were asked started with, “If you had the perfect childhood….” And I wondered, is there such a thing as a ‘perfect childhood’? If you had one, please share in the comments! I certainly didn’t have a perfect childhood. I could spend ages talking about why it wasn’t perfect, but that doesn’t make sense. All I can do is to work on accepting what is my reality, my memories, the joys, the hurts and everything that made my childhood what it was.
Accepting What Is
Tomorrow makes two years since my Mum’s passing. Two years have passed quickly. Since I now live in my parents’ home, I’m surrounded by daily reminders of them. My Mom was a very practical woman and someone who really thought outside the box. She would come up with great solutions to things, crack a puzzle, complete the crossword everyday, and find new uses for old things. I realize that she could have been a great entrepreneur if she believed more in herself and stood up for herself.
As I’ve mentioned before Mum and I had a complicated relationship. But I defy anyone to question our love for each other. She was not perfect, neither was I. And our love wasn’t perfect either. I know that I grew up faster than many girls because she confided in me things that she shouldn’t have. But instead of blaming her, I now realize how lonely she was and how much she trusted me. I never really turned out to be the daughter my parents wanted, but I fought to be the person I wanted to be. But we all had to settle on accepting what is, albeit reluctantly.
“There isn’t a more perfect person somewhere, only a more perfect person we might become, and there isn’t a paradise someone can lead us to unless it’s the world we make for ourselves when we stop expecting it to be delivered by someone else.”
― Merle Shain, Courage My Love
I realize that what I experienced in childhood made me more empathetic to others. But it also made me more needy and eager to please. I’m still in the process of learning to walk that fine line between good to others while putting my own needs first.
There’s so much good that I have learned from my mother. I know that she’s watching over me from wherever she is and reminding me to be accepting of what is my life.
Would you like to take part in #MondayMusings? Here’s how it works:
Write a post sharing your thoughts with us – happy, sad, philosophical, ‘silly’ even. Make it as personal as possible.
Use the hashtag #MondayMusings.
Add your link to the linky below
Use our #MondayMusings badge to encourage other bloggers join in too.
Visit and comment on the posts of other bloggers linked here.
Share the love.
I don’t know anyone who had a perfect childhood. And I’m not sure how you would define that as what would be perfect for some wouldn’t be perfect for others. But everything – both the good and bad – has made us who we are today. I like who I am, so I wouldn’t risk changing anything even if I could – I think.
Even if we had a perfect childhood we woukd all have a few occasions that woukd haunt us for the rest of our lives. But as you said we must accept it for it was.
Till I read your post I hadn’t even thought of accepting my childhood for the way it was. It was something I could blame my parents for – for the way I have turned out. Losing confidence, pleasing people, being a pushover and not fighting where required.
I don’t know if I can change myself but I can definitely stop blaming my parents and start accepting things.
Dear Cory,
Sending you happy vibes, love and big hugs. It’s two years already!
Time sure whizzes by.
I’m sure we all at some point of time in our lives hold our parents responsible for our childhood pangs. But I guess they did the best they could at that point of time.
I’m glad that my parents did play a critical role in shaping the wonderful bits of me, and the not-so-wonderful bits, which I am learning to shed, slowly but surely.
Your mother sure was a woman of immense grit and talent, as I can see from your posts.
It’s always nice to read your posts about her, where you have something different to say about her each time.
Take care xo
N
A perfect childhood? I guess that’s relative. For some, living together with parents is the perfect childhood because they never got that. I wouldn’t call mine perfect. Good things happened but so did bad things. But it’s unique.
Starting to work, I just figured being an adult is not as glorious as I imagined as a kid. I met more people. I lost jobs. I struggled. Sometimes, childhood seemed perfect compared to these.
As you said, accepting what has happened. What has become of me today? I believe will help all of us to move forward