Having recently lost my Mom, I know that there’s no hard and fast rules about how to grieve. Relationships and grieving are unique to each of us. However, there’s some advice that holds good for the loss of a parent. Losing a Parent – Coping, Continuing and Healing is written by Monique – a North Carolina-based journalist, blogger and artist who blogs at Renting The Rain. At my request, Monique wrote this post for Everyday Gyaan and I decided to share this as a #MondayMusings post.
Losing a Parent – Coping, Continuing and Healing
This will never be easy
Losing a parent is something we all know must happen one day. Unfortunately, this knowledge never makes the event easier. Whether you are close to your biological parents, adopted parents, guardians, or other parental figures, know that your loved ones will want you to mourn, and then heal. Here are some things to keep in mind during your healing journey.
Support and understand each other
Everyone responds to trauma and hardship in different ways. Recognize that your own way of grieving is just as legitimate as someone else’s. Other family members may be dealing with this loss differently, and that is okay. Recognize how they respond and communicate with how you are reacting as well.
Understanding possible differences is essential for every individual’s recovery and support of one another. Support your loved ones in any way you can, but take a step back when time to yourself is needed as well.
Time is essential
While no one responds to loss in the exact same way, recognize that time is essential to your recovery journey. Even for those who do not feel grief immediately, time is necessary to receive, understand, contemplate, and let go of emotion.
Give yourself plenty of time to recover, and be lenient with your journey. Remember that staying on the path of healing and understanding your life’s position without your lost loved one will be hard but necessary. Continue to strive to find your place in this new world without them, and be lenient when your path requires more time than expected.
While remaining in a state of constant grief for extended periods of time is not healthy, it’s important to recognize where these feelings are stemming from. Concerning the loss of a parental figure, grief can stem from one’s extreme connection to an individual responsible for teaching them all that they know.
Try journaling, praying, or even talking about what you love and appreciate about your lost one. Put into words how important they were to you, and connect with others that feel the same. Even for the non-religious, take joy in knowing that you were given time on this earth to learn from and be raised by your loved ones.
Although you can no longer physically communicated with your lost loved one, remember their values and take a guess as to what they want for you. Do they want you to mourn them forever? Chances are, your loved one wants you to live a happy life, even without them directly at your side.
Look at your lifestyle and find ways to implement healthy changes or additions that reflect on how your loved one lived life. If your mother made you homemade chicken each Saturday, try adding that recipe into your weekly or monthly plan. Use that meal as a way of remembering, honoring, and staying connected to her.
Along with grief may come many emotions, including love, emptiness, and even anger. On your journey to recovery and healing, remember to forgive. Forgive your loved one for passing away and leaving you behind. Forgive your other loved ones for grieving differently, and not understanding your grief in the same way. Forgive yourself for the time it takes for your to resume “normal,” life. Be loving, forgiving, and patient with your grief and recovery, and you’ll stay right on track.
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