The Tracks We Leave – Part 2

In my post the other day I mentioned that we should make our death a meaningful experience for our loved ones. How can we do that when we really have no control over the time and manner of our death?

Like Cecelia Ahern very wisely says in her book 'The Gift' :"Believe me, when you die, it's everybody else's but your problem." So true. When you die, your loved ones have to cope with your loss, as well as make decisions and arrangements for your last rites. And in India at least, there are two questions that strike us:

1. What  kind of rites would the deceased wish to be performed? We don't want to spare any expense, but give our loved one all the honor and respect in death. Also, there are certain fears and superstitions about the soul of the deceased not being at peace unless certain rites are performed.

2. What will people say? I can again only speak from my experience in India, where the good opinion of every grand uncle and his brother and yes, even his friends, cause us to make choices, we might not have otherwise!

It becomes imperative then, that we ensure our family doesn't have to face any problems. All we need to do is to make our wishes in this regard, well known and ideally put them down in writing.

In my recent experience,  my cousin's father put it in writing that in case he was suffering from some terminal illness he should not be hospitalized, but as far as possible, die in his own home, surrounded by his family. He also mentioned (verbally) that he would like to be cremated, which is not a usual practice for Catholics in India. My cousin's family ensured that his wishes were fulfilled. They cared for him at home, all through the many years he suffered from Alzheimer's. As his physical condition deteriorated, they  ensured that he was constantly surrounded by family and friends. On the night of his death, his immediate family held him and sang to him as he passed away peacefully. 

The second wonderful choice I came across recently was that of my friend's mother. Her mother chose to have her body donated to science and to have no last rites at all. Instead, she asked that the money usually spent on such rites be used towards the care of the needy. How true these words of Pericles are of her: "What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others." My and her husband have diligently carried out her wishes, despite a lot of pressure from the extended family. 

I've never been a great one for visiting cemeteries and I entirely subscribe to my mother's view of living bouquets. So I've decided that when I die, I too want to have my body donated to science and have no funeral rites. To make it easier for my loved ones I'm going to put this in writing (apparently there are forms available for registering yourself as a donor).

I know I'm going to be accused of morbidity for this post, but I just think it's practical to think about these things and like I said, make it easier for your family. And just for the record, I have no intention of shuffling off my  mortal coil anytime soon.

Do think of the tracks you're leaving in life and yes, even in death.

May you be inspired - everyday!

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