He Loved Me First

This is one sequence from ‘The Father of The Bride’ that I don’t mind watching time and again. It always brings a tear to my eye as I see how the father struggles to let go of his daughter to another man. Listen to this song and watch this scene:

Here’s how the chorus of this song goes:

I loved her first and I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep
And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But it still hard to give her away
I loved her first….


Hmmmm….lovely, isn’t it? Here’s a similar scene from my life – Dad ‘giving me away’ in church on my wedding day. I’m not sure what thoughts and feelings went on in his mind and heart (possibly sheer relief!), but I’d like to think it was a mixture of joy and fear too – wondering what life has in store for me and maybe (I’m hoping) a little sadness at my leaving (after all I had lived at home for 41 years!)





Most fathers and daughters have a special relationship, quite different from fathers and sons and mothers and daughters. Dad and I too have something special. Apparently he chose my name way before Mum and Dad had kids – he had to wait to have two sons first and then I came, some 14 years after their marriage! Apparently he sent out a telegram to my aunts and uncles, that read: ‘Corinne arrived’. Little did he realize what was in store ;)

Dad, being in the army. was away a fair bit when I was young. I can never forget that day in 1971 (Indo-Pak war) when Dad left. I remember him bidding a tearful farewell to his parents and we went to a studio to take a family picture – just in case. That evening Mum took us for a movie – The Wizard of Oz to keep distract us. Half way through the movie I pretended to be scared of the Wicked Witch of the West and had to be taken home. Actually I was too upset and scared of a possible life without Dad!

Thankfully, he has been spared to us these many years – and today he turns 84 (4th November)! Actually, in his mind he’s about 48 if not less and that’s the beauty of his spirit. His philosophy in life is that ‘everything is in the mind’ – so you can be active and healthy and lead a full life if you so decide. He’s busy helping all and sundry and sometimes I just get tired watching him running about the whole day!

I've learned a lot from my parents. From Dad, I’ve learned that it’s important
- to be a good listener. He’s got a way of making people talk about themselves.
- to be tactful when necessary. He’s a good peacemaker and a diplomat (I’m not always diplomatic though)
- to be generous with your time and resources to help others and
- to be networked. He has a huge network of friends who he takes the trouble to keep in touch with and some 30 years after he’s retired from the Army he can still call a favor because he helped someone long ago.

Happy Birthday, Dad. And thank you for loving me first!

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