Dear Sumit
I started writing this as a comment to your recent post - 'There's No Such Place As Far Away', but I kept writing and realized that this was better off on my blog!
So here goes. As always you write so well and from the heart. Strangely I've never read any of Richard Bach's books except Jonathan Livingston Seagull (a personal favorite of my husband's). But I've always preserved quotes from him. I had this one stuck on the soft board on my bedroom for a long time: You are never given a dream without being given the power to make it come true!
For years I dreamed of finding my soulmate (don't we all?). In the process of this search I've fallen in love many times over, each time thinking, 'Ah, I've found the ONE' (turned out there was more than one!!!). It was finally at age 41 that I met my soul mate - my husband. 'Oh Lord,' I can hear you say, 'do I have to wait so long?'. Your journey needn't be as mine and hopefully if you can learn something from my journey, it will make it all the more worthwhile.
Some questions you might ask -
Did I make many mistakes in this journey? YES.
Did I get in to some weird relationships? YES (although they seemed alright at the time).
Do I have regrets about the loving, the losing and the pain? NO.
No regrets, because every time I learned something....and at the end of the journey I learned one truth and that's what I'd like to share with you. Love does not take long to come to us...it's we that take a long time to come to Love. What do I mean by that?
I mean that most often we think that we have to 'find' Love and start looking for it in other people. The truth is that until we love ourselves and accept ourselves, we'll never find that Love. To quote Richard Bach: 'Until you make room in your life for someone as important to you as yourself, you will always be searching and lost'.
For a long time I 'loved' people who didn't feel the same way about me, were not ready to commit, found me too strong, too fat, too attached to my family..........Why was Love eluding me I wondered. I thought I had a problem - and I did. To quote Bach again: If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem. The moment I stopped looking for Love and started focusing on myself and my own happiness, I 'found' Love. It was waiting to be found - within me! The irony is when I realised that I didn't have to depend on someone else to make me happy, I found someone who I was happy to be with and who was happy to be with me.
So Sumit, I hope I haven't confused you and lectured too much - I didn't mean to. All I want you to know is to let go and just be who you are - Love will come. Enjoy your relationship with your 'friend' and be the best friend you can be to YOU.
PS: Another of Bach's quotes: If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.
Picture courtesy Beliefnet
30 comments:
Corinne, you're wonderful, oh so wonderful! :)
I read your post three times, and still couldn't get enough of it. No, you've not lectured me or confused me, but rather shown me that I was looking at the clouds and missing the silver lining.
Thanks! :)
I don't know to whom you were writing (I didn't click on the link)...but I know that you can write!! Oustandingly written....from the heart...and word for word: true!
Very nice Corrine. Are you in Byron Center? That's not far from me. I see you are following my blog. I haven't seen you there much. Come on by if you like. You have a lot of followers. How did you get so many? I try to get articles on regularly but it's hard sometimes with my wife having cancer and our 7 children. Even being unemployed, it's hard to find time to write a lot.
"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were." - my all time favorite! :-) Sometimes, we have to move on even if it hurts, because the fact is: Time really heals.
I always believe that the world looks very different in the morning, after a good night's sleep :-) - clearer mind, better decisions...
Came across your blog via Sumit's blog ... very nice post and wonderfully written .. can completely relate to it .. and you have worded it quite perfectly !
Stand up and bow :)
I cannot tell you definately not in words, how much i could relate with this post of your's. I am touched, shocked but with a great enriching feeling inside of me that i could also experience such a thing at such an early age, but again like you've said age or anything else, is just secondary how you feel and what you do to feel that way can be achieved anytime, anywhere.
I am in love, and i wasn't looking for it this time, i guess instead of me finding it, love chose to find me :)
Its blissful here, i hope it stays that way.
Love you loads dear Corinne, you somehow always speak what i feel. It feels great to have you as a friend.
*Hugs*
Rashmi.
How true,I started loving myself in my late thirties,it enriched my life and improved relationships all around...I also discovered my till then latent gifts ,like patience,being more giving,more in the moment,and most of all contentment...
what a lovely post Corinne.. on somedays one comes across such powerful pieces of writing like this, that it touches the heart in more ways than one.. im so glad i took to blogging and more importantly blog hopping, else i would not have ever got a chance to read such lovely accounts.. god bless u Corinne..
If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.
When we are loving we become lovable too...
Oh this was so poignant! Came in here from Sumit's blog. And am glad I did. :)
interesting post
you sure can write..and btw ..i love that last quote and that book
xo
Hi Corinne. I've never been a fan of Richard Bach but your post here has made me think... Loving yourself is truly the only thing you can do and everything else just falls into place. Thank you for sharing your experiences so well. It is in the lives of others, that we are sometimes able to look into the mirrors of our own souls.
Hey.
Its my first time here and I love this post so much. The lesson is being repeated so many times, find love and happiness within and it will find you on the outside.
Lovely getting to read a fellow Indian.
Uzma
Hi Sweet Corrine(i love your name),
You have managed to rip out my heart and write this post right form within it! It so breathtakingly beautiful. I too have found my true love late...after one failed abusive marriage, i had lost hope..and then my darling husband came along and Life and Love just happened so beautifully. I would advice everyone to hold on and have patience .....love will happen at just the right time, and when it does it will be a blessing for you.
Am in mumbai right now...visiting my mum. I was so so happy to see you at my blog today. A pleasant and lovely surprise.
By the by...."if you love someone.." is my all time favorite quote.
Lots of love
Zeenat:)
Hi Corinne... Came in from Sumit's blog.. Though that post was meant for Sumit, I am sure many like me must have benefitted and learnt quite a handful from it. I am thankful. Thank you so much :)
hey Corinne, Yours and Sumi's blogpost made me write mine on Love :)
You have this unconditional capacity to love within you..
You are my hero
Love ^~^
Loved the post, loved the quotes.
I am glad you found your love. I also crossed 40 this year and I feel this is a good enough age to fall in love. Whats age but just some numbers. It has nothing to do with what and who you are.
Richard Bach was one of my favourite authors. I still read him from time to time for inspirations.
Your story is inspiring. I'm at the crossroads right now, and I don't want to regret anything. I want to be able to say to myself that I have tried and that I did my best ;-)
Co...wonderfully written.
It is important that we are comfortable being who we are. I always come accross people looking and searching for happiness either in their spouse, their family everyone else except themselves.
"Those that go searching for love, only manifest their own loveless ness. And the loveless never find love, only the loving find love. And they never have to seek for it" - D.H Lawrence
Sapna
This really hit home, Corinne. I am hurting over losing someone I really love and wondering if I will ever see him again. This is inspiring and I hope to read back on this post, one day in the future, and tell you that I have found my soulmate.
Hugs.
It's one of the most wonderful diatribe on love that I have read for a really long time. One of my friends was saying to me that visiting blogs are so depressing with all the stories of broken hearts, I really hope all of them get to read this wonderful post of yours. Hats off to you ma'am! :)
Corinne God bless you for sharing this very important lesson with us! I will endeavor to follow your words! How did I miss this post?! Wrong as this sounds I was probably in delirium during fasting! God bless you and your marriage and wish you all the happiness and love in the world! :)
Thank you everyone who took the time to comment. Your comments are so meaningful and encouraging. I'm going to acknowledge each of them personally, so bear with me. Thanks again!
Corinne, I was passing through and am absolutely delighted to read your post.
Beautiful, inspiring, thoughtful and so true, I wish everyone looking for love in this world could read this one!
Mr.Right or Miss Perfect exist only in the mind...one has to work with what you have,because there are no guarantees in life.
I have no words. Just so beautiful Corrine. :)
@ UCW - Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
I seriously got chills from reading your post. You managed to express in such a precise and beautiful way what many of us feel so deep inside, that the feeling becomes hard to catch, and even harder to express by means of words. But the feeling is there.
"Love does not take long to come to us...it's we that take a long time to come to Love. " - left me speechless.
Thanks for your visit Aysel...and for your words..You've got a great blog and a new follower :)
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